posted by dave on Tuesday, July 26, 2005 at 4:25 AM in category general

Was talking with FutureDude yesterday about yet another reason that I could never work at Rich O's. Specifically, we were talking about these idiots that had taken over the living room area. More specifically, we were talking about this one particular idiot that had decided to put a chair right in the middle of the walkway so he could sit his fat ass down and block everybody's path.

This was not the first time that I've mentioned to FutureDude that I could never work at Rich O's, and he suggested that I make a list, suitable for framing, of all of the reasons.

Well I doubt that Roger would ever permit such a list to adorn his walls, I'm going to make a list anyway, and adorn my website with it.

Reasons that I could never work at Rich O's

Idiots that take over the living room area
You people are the first thing one sees when they enter Rich O's proper. If you can't at least pretend to be a little bit mature, then I would 86 you.
Strangers that take over the living room area
I would institute a Rich O's Regular card, available only to the most loyal customers, that could be used to make these assholes move.
Assholes that eat at the bar
Seriously, you people suck. Just because you're too self-centered to actually wait for a table to sit at, that doesn't give you any right to inconvenience the rest of us. The people that eat in the living room area also suck, just not as hard.
That one guy with the dead woodchuck on his head
I would be unable to keep a straight face if I ever had to talk to this guy. I'd have to 86 him.
Assholes with sideways baseball caps
I realize that you need to turn the bill of your cap to the side when you're giving all those free blowjobs in the parking lot, but please fix your damn hat before you come into the bar. You look like a fucking idiot.
Wine drinkers
Rich O's is a fucking beer bar! I'd 86 you in a heartbeat unless you were really really good looking.
People that hide the fucking ashtrays
If even the mere sight of an ashtray is more than you can stand, then stay the fuck out of the smoking section, or I will 86 you.
Corona drinkers
Seriously, what the fuck?

I'm sure that, given any time to actually think about this, I could come up with a couple of dozen more reasons that I could never work at Rich O's.

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