posted by dave on Thursday, September 1, 2005 at 8:06 PM in category entertainment

Okay, I'm going to go ahead and make some predictions regarding the outcome of this show.

These predictions should prove, once and for all, that I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. Especially when it comes to music.

I mean, a half-hour ago I was talking with my sister about INXS (the olden days' version) and I actually found myself disagreeing with her.

I'm the guy that, two months ago, wouldn't have recognized an INXS song or a band member if, as Jack Nicholson so famously said, I were pissing on one. My sister, meanwhile, probably knows all of that old stuff by heart.

Anyway, like I said, I'm going to make some predictions. Here they are:

Suzie: I just can't see INXS picking a woman to sing for them. I'm not really saying that I think that they're a bunch of chauvinistic pigs. Okay, maybe I am saying that a little, but the main reason that I don't think Suzie will win is that she's just not good enough, or possessing of range enough, to carry an entire album or concert appearance.

Jordis: I've already said this, but I really hope hat Jordis doesn't win the thing. I don't think that she will, both because she's a woman, but also because I don't think the INXS members are idiots. They have to realize that any band with Jordis doing the fronting is going to become The Jordis Band and every other member will become irrelevant. I don't think these guys want to become (any more) irrelevant, so I don't think they'll choose Jordis.

Mig: Mig is my sister's pick to win the thing. I guess I can picture it happening, but I'm still a little concerned about Mig's range. He can definitely sing some songs really well, but he can also suck if the song doesn't suit his voice and style.

Marty: I like Marty's singing a little better than Mig's, but I think he's got the same set of problems. If he wins I don't expect INXS keep him past that first album and tour. Marty is the one I'd like to see win.

JD: JD is my prediction for winning this thing. Not not not not because I think he can sing. Also not because I think he's cute, though my female friends seem to think so. Nope, I think he will win because he's the performer most likely to sloppily lap away at the 15-year-old genitalia of the band's rock stardom. I think that's what the band is looking for - someone to kiss their asses and tell them how great they are.

Those are my predictions. We'll find out in a few weeks just how much of a dumbass I am.

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