posted by dave on Sunday, October 16, 2005 at 10:12 AM in category daily

First thing I did last night was deal with the situation. I called MixedSignalGirl up. I told her that I wasn't angry anymore. That I just wanted to hear her side of the story.

That was a lie. I was still angry, but the longer I waited the worse it got, so I just wanted to get it over with, and see what kind of damage control was needed.

So we agreed to meet at Buckhead's. I got there early, she got there late. This was always one of our trademarks. When she arrived, she just happened to be wearing the top that's always been my favorite on her. She said that she was going out with some friends later, and had already picked that outfit before I'd called.

That was a lie. She never really liked that top, but she'd wear it because I'd bought it for her.

The tension between us was just incredible. I couldn't believe that I was having this conversation with her. That it had come to this. To my having to smile and say that it was okay. To her saying that she was sorry.

Two lies, one from each of us.

In the end, I guess it wasn't as bad as I'd first been told. I guess I understand why she did it. I sure as fuck wish that she hadn't, but I've done one or two or a gazillion stupid things myself.

She said that she did it to try to make me happy. To give me that little push and force me to cross that line that I'd been afraid to cross.

That was a lie.

The real reason she did it was so that she and I would be having that conversation. She wanted to see me, but she didn't want to just call me up and say she missed me. She couldn't do that, not after she'd so efficiently and coldly left me at Sully's three nights earlier. So, in her drunken state, she did something that was sure to get my attention. Something that would result in me calling her.

Well it obviously worked. There we sat.

After a while, the tension decreased a little bit. We tried to talk about other things, but no words would come out. We spent most of an hour just picking at our food. In the past we'd joked that it's felt like we'd been breaking up for months, and we should just get it over with. Last night, it didn't feel that way. Last night, the breakup was an immutable part of our past, and it loomed behind us like a shadowy figure in a dark alley.

I knew what was coming. It was inevitable. The question.

You wanna fuck?
She always has such a way with words.

I turned down her eloquent offer. Told her that I had plans.

That was a lie. I had no plans other than going to Rich O's. Going home with her instead just seemed pointless. We've had more sex since we broke up in the Winter than we ever had when we were an actual couple. I never wanted a fuckbuddy. Like I said, pointless.

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