My sister Dina, always the organized one, today asked me what I wanted for Christmas.

I've given this a lot of thought, and I know what it is that I want more than anything else in the world.

A time machine.

But I don't want the el cheapo time machine. Nope, I want the deluxe model with the paradox inhibitor. I wouldn't want to go back to November 14, 2003 and murder myself before I went to Rich O's, and then immediately vanish because I'd never lived long enough to get a time machine to use to go back and murder myself. That would just be embarrassing.

Come to think of it, I doubt that it's called murder when you kill a past version of yourself. It's not really a suicide either. Maybe the time machine owner's manual will have a glossary in the back or something.

So please, spring for the deluxe model. It may cost more, but it's soooo worth it.