BamaGirl: One of the newer regulars at Rich O's. Married to BamaGuy. She used to have a terrible nickname but I changed it after I'd spoken to her a few times. Very sweet. This nickname is because of where they're from.

BigWheelGirl: One of LaptopGirl's friends. She drove us to see Screech. The nickname is because of a story that LaptopGirl told me.

Bubbles: A Rich O's regular. She just has a bubbly personality.

CanadianGirl: She used to work at my company, and she'd show up at Rich O's every now and then. She moved to Omaha. The nickname is because she's from Canada originally.

CannonGirl: Another name for TrainGirl. She used to work at this historical place with cannons.

CuteAsFuckGirl: She grew up in Washington County. She wants me. The nickname is self-explanatory.

CuteBlonde: One of the regulars at Rich O's. She's married to some guy who's name I can never remember. Another nickname that needs no explanation.

Dina: My sister.

DooRagGirl: FutureDude's girlfriend. DooRagGirl was also one of the first people I ever met at Rich O's. She was friends with my sister Neisha back in High School. She used to wear these scarves on her head all the time. She hardly ever does anymore though.

EnglishGirl: I spent several hours talking with her in Boston. Extremely nice. I should have given her my email address. She's from England.

EwokGirl: Our cubicles are next to each other. Sometimes she brings me free germs. She told me to use EwokGirl as a nickname.

ExoticGirl: A smoldering hot girl that comes into Rich O's sometimes. She's married. She's got sort of a Middle Eastern look to her, hence ExoticGirl.

FilleFransaiseSexy: One time, CanadianGirl brought some French people into Rich O's. I asked one of the French dudes how to say "hot French girl" in French, and this nickname is the result.

GlassesGirl: Another friend of Neisha's from childhood. Now she's dating MusicalHippyDude. She wants a new nickname because she doesn't wear glasses any more.

HatGirl: A smoldering hot girl that I have a bit of a crush on. She has a boyfriend named LuckyFucker. The nickname is because she likes to wear hats. Bet you didn't see that one coming, did you?

HotBartender: She worked at The Great Lost Bear in Portland Maine when I was there. The nickname is self-explanatory.

HotEuchreGirl: Just this girl that I've talked to a couple of times and that played euchre with us one night. I think she's dating LonerBoy. She's hot, and she plays euchre.

HotRedHead: GlassesGirl's friend. She's dating one of the bartenders. The only girl with red hair that I've ever found attractive. Self-explanatory.

HotRedHeadGirl: See HotRedHead.

KidneyGirl: Just this weird girl that may or may not have tried to pick me up at The Pub once. The nickname is because of the old urban legend about waking up in a tub of ice with your kidney missing.

LaptopGirl: Sigh. There's nothing I feel like writing here. The nickname is because she was typing into a laptop the first time I saw her. Great, now I'm sad.

LibertyGirl: A semi-regular at Rich O's. She has a 'blog, but she never updates it. The nickname is a bit of a play on her real name.

LibraryGirl: A friend of SassyGirl. She works at the library.

MaineGirl: A really cool chick that I spent several hours talking to in Portland last Spring.

MisunderstoodGirl: One of my good friends that I never get to see any more. She used to work at Rich O's, and she used to be SassyGirl's girlfriend. Now she never comes around at all and I miss her. I call her this because many people don't make the effort to get to know her, and so they never understand her at all.

MixedSignalGirl: Sigh. My ex-girlfriend. I really let her down I'm afraid. The nickname is because of a malfunctioning traffic light we encountered on our first date.

Neisha: My youngest sister.

OddlyFamiliarGirl: This is DooRagGirl's sister. That's why she looked familiar.

PictureGirl: I had a fling/thing with her in Las Vegas. Just cute as hell. The nickname is sort of from how we met.

PigtailGirl: I had a one night stand with her in Las Vegas. She's from Portland Maine. She had pigtails.

ProbableLesbian: This girl used to come in to Rich O's all the time, but I haven't seen her in months. A self-explanatory nickname.

RealTrainGirl: See SassyGirl.

RedHairGirl: See HotRedHead.

RedRoomGirl: Just this chick that was hot that sat in the red room one night.

RioGirl: We went swimming together, and she told me that she liked my hair when it was mussed up. She worked at The Rio in Las Vegas.

RockGirl: My kindred spirit. I've never met her in real life though - I just know her from the Internet. The nickname is because she sent me a rock.

SassyGirl: My lesbian girlfriend. She used to be TrainGirl's girlfriend, and she was MisunderstoodGirl's girlfriend for a while. One of my best friends at Rich O's. Her nickname is because of this new short hairstyle she's sporting.

SpoonsGirl: My sister Dina's friend. The nickname is from a very dark day in her life.

StupidGirl: Just this waitress in Las Vegas. She was stupid.

SunburnGirl: See MisunderstoodGirl. One night I changed everybody's nicknames, just to mix things up a little.

TacoBell: SassyGirl's new girlfriend. Works at (duh) Taco Bell. Has a very pretty smile.

TallLady: One of the regulars at Rich O's. Very nice except when she's trying to get me to smile, then she's too pushy. The nickname is because, duh, she's tall. Like over six feet I think.

TracingGirl: See VigilanteGirl. One night I changed everybody's nicknames, just to mix things up a little.

TrainGirl: She used to be SassyGirl's girlfriend. She was really nice to talk to, but she moved away so I don't get to see her any more. When I first met her, I got her and SassyGirl mixed up, so I thought she worked for the railroad. Once I found out that I'd mixed them up it was too late to swap nicknames.

VigilanteGirl: We used to flirt with each other a lot. Now, not so much. The nickname is from a story she told me when we met about chasing down some gas thieves from where she works.

WorldsHottestGirl: She used to come into Rich O's a lot, but she stopped. The nickname is self-explanatory.

ZodiacGirl: See LaptopGirl. Sigh. One night I changed everybody's nicknames, just to mix things up a little.