posted by dave on Friday, June 9, 2006 at 7:43 AM in category general


I've waited long enough.

My voicemails and emails have sat unanswered for almost two weeks. I said that I would not try again, and I haven't. The ball's in your court, but you're not there to pick it up.

Fine. I'll play by myself for a while. Maybe even play with myself for a while.

Ha ha ha.

I think the thing that shocked me the most about the way you left is that, at first, it seemed that you must not have a very high opinion of me as a person. For what you asked me to do was something that only a complete asshole would do. Surely, I thought, surely you knew me better than that.

But the more I've thought about it, the more I've come to realize that it's not my character that you've misjudged - it's my intelligence.

You think I'm fucking stupid, don't you?

Well, I'm not.

Sure, it took me a few days, but I did figure it out.

You asked me to prove my feelings for you, but the proof that you demanded was impossible. And you knew it.

Why would you do that? Why would you issue an ultimatum that could never be satisfied?

It's simple, really.

You asked me for the impossible because you knew that my refusal would give you an excuse. An excuse to walk away. An excuse to keep the blame for our failures on me. An excuse behind which you could hide your own fears and insecurities.

It was a good plan. If you're twelve years old.

I'd take a bullet for you, but I will not shoot an innocent person. You knew that all along.

Look, I know all about fear and insecurity. I've pretty much mastered them both over the past couple of years. So I understand the things that race through your head. You waited for so long for me to say those words to you. You were surprised. You were skeptical and you were afraid.

I don't blame you a bit for your concerns.

I just wish you'd have told me, instead of playing this stupid game. I thought we were better than stupid games.

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