posted by dave on Wednesday, June 28, 2006 at 1:15 AM in category general

I was thinking about writing something today, but I changed my mind. If any of you are really curious, you can just go back and read some of my old shit. The thing that I was going to write about, I'm sure that I've already written about it before.


So on Monday I got this email from The Luxor in Las Vegas telling me about some special room rates they were offering me because I'm so awesome. It was $79 per night, which seems like a pretty good price to me. Since I've been missing Las Vegas recently, I went online to see if I could maybe take a trip there in August. Yay! August in Las Vegas! But I don't think it's going to happen because, while the room rates are good, the cheapest flights I could find were $8,000,000 or something like that. I think I'll have to wait until November as I'd originally planned so work will pay for the trip.


I think that I'm probably going to be miserable for the rest of the Summer. Maybe for even longer. I don't really see any way out of this funk. I am starting to get a little excited about my trip to Cleveland this weekend, but I doubt that even this pseudo-good mood will last very long.


Dammit, I really wish she could have been here for DaveFest.


I kinda feel like everybody around me is just standing in my way, blocking me from where I'm supposed to be going. This irritates me. Mostly because it's an illusion. There's no place to go.


I used to be annoyed by people trying to make me feel better when it was obvious that their only real goal was to feel more comfortable around me. Now I'm annoyed by people because they're being nice to me, but it's nothing but another illusion. Don't be nice to me. You're not the one. So stop. Just stop distracting me. I do not want to be your good deed of the day. Let me be miserable for a while. I've earned it.


My sleep schedule is upside-down again. It's kinda nice. It seems like there's more solitude after midnight. Instead of just having the house to myself, it seems like I've got the whole world.


I've deleted another girl's number from my phone. It really bothers me that it came to this. Not that there was ever any real potential there, but it was fun to pretend for a while. Now my messages are ignored, and I don't trust myself to stop trying, so I deleted her number.


Seriously, I don't want to do this any more. I'm sick of putting on a brave face and forcing a smile.

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