Three or four years ago I had a yellowjacket nest in my yard. I went to the hardware store and bought some foamy shit to kill them. I sprayed their hole. They died.

That's the way it's supposed to work.

This year, this year it's just a teeny bit different.

This year I had four nests. Two in my front yard and two in my back yard.

The two back yard nests seem to have been normal ones. Those bees seem to have been killed with a single application of the foamy shit.

The two front yard nests are occupied by some kind of super yellowjacket. I've sprayed each of those nest with the foamy shit four times. The dude that mows my lawn has sprayed each of these nests at least twice. We're talking an entire can with each spraying.

I guess I should say the dude that used to mow my lawn because he hasn't mowed the front yard in two months. He got sick and tired of being stung. I don't blame him a bit.

I figure that these front yard bees are shampooing with the foamy shit, or brushing their teeth with it. Do bees even have hair and/or teeth? I doubt it. But whatever, they're sure not dying from the stuff.

So today I went back to the hardware store and asked them for something would kill yellowjackets. The dweeb pointed to the cans of foamy shit. I said, "No, the bees in my yard use that stuff to clean their contacts or something. They're immune to it."

So the dweeb called the manager over, and the manager recommended some non-foamy shit that's mostly for hornets. It's supposed to knock them right out of the air. I bought six cans.

I came home and pulled my truck up to one of the nests. I got to where I could clearly see down the hole of the nest. Then I rolled down my window, took a can of the non-foamy shit, and soaked that hole. Then I took another can and soaked it again.

Next, I drove over to the second, larger, nest. This one features a hole big enough that a small child could crawl in. I thought briefly about bribing a small child to go in there with a flyswatter, but alas, I'm fresh out of disposable children.

Back to plan A. Or maybe plan B - I think the foamy shit was plan A. Plan C is sell my house.

I was able to get almost one entire can sprayed into the hole before the super yellowjackets came streaming out of it. I rolled up my window as quickly as I could and I got the fuck out of there.

I drove up and down the road to throw the bees off my trail, then I pulled into my garage.

Just before I typed this I looked out my front door at that second nest. The bees are using the non-foamy shit to fill their new swimming pool. They're having a grand time.