A million times.
Disappointment times a million.
It never fades. It never gets any easier. It always astounds me with its intensity.
Someday, it will end.
Someday, in a portion of a fraction of an instant, disappointment will transform into joy.
Until then, disappointment will be my reason for living. My purpose. My destiny. My fucking calling.
After that, well I guess I'll have to wait and see what happens after that.