Did a shitload of driving around today. I just needed to get away from this damn house for a while. Now, I'm thinking that coming back here might have been a mistake, but it's too late now. I'm already here.

Anyway, I know what I want now.

Remember the movie Deep Impact? Near the end, after the small comet fragment hit, there was a huge traffic jam of people who'd been trying to get to high ground. The tsunami was rushing up to engulf them, and Lt. Yar and Attendant Mavek knew that they were going to die. Soon. They faced each other, and they gazed into each others' eyes. So that the last sight that either of them would see would be the adoring eyes of the person that they loved.

That's what I fucking want.

I want to find someone who will love me as I love her, someone who'd choose to spend her last moments gazing into my eyes while I gazed into hers. Hands intertwined. Breathing synchronized. Existing together as one heart, one soul. The world irrelevant.

And, if the world doesn't happen to end when such a perfect moment arrives, well that would be even better.