So I bought NotHideousGirl a t-shirt from the Hard Rock in Indianapolis on Sunday night.
I then lugged that thing all the way home.
I then lugged it to work yesterday, then to The Pub during lunch.
NotHideousGirl didn't show yesterday, so I lugged it back to work and then back home.
Today I lugged it back to work, then back to The Pub at lunch.
At 12:20 or so, I figured that NotHideousGirl was going to be a no-show again.
It is, believe or not, quite difficult to look cool and carry a bright pink shirt around at the same time. So I came up with a new plan.
Instead of continuing to lug that t-shirt all over the place for a girl who, according to all available evidence, I was never going to see again as long as I lived, I decided that I'd carry the t-shirt another way.
Specifically, I'd wad it up and stuff it into the front of my pants.
That way, see, I could have my arms free for whatever random arm-requiring opportunities might arise. Plus, the new bulge in my pants would be sure to garner some long-overdue attention from the women of Louisville.
I figured that I'd change tactics. I'd make the t-shirt available to the first attractive woman who wanted it, but - and this is the fun part - I'd make her dive in and get it herself.
It was a brilliant plan, if I do say so myself. And I do.
Just about when the grin spreading across my face had reached its maximum evilness, NotHideousGirl showed up.
It was good to see her. Even though it meant the end of my evil/brilliant plan. I'm sure that I'll come up with other plans. Someday. Maybe.
Anyway, I gave NotHideousGirl her t-shirt, and we both laughed at the thought of her wearing pink, like an actual girl.
Then I moved on to more serious business.
You may remember that I tried, Sunday night during the drunk-dialing/drunk-answering fiasco, to apologize to NotHideousGirl for something I'd failed to do Friday night.
Well, today at lunch I apologized again.
And she said that, had I done that thing which I was apologizing for not doing, then she would have beaten the shit out of me.
So, anyway, whew!