I've got so much to catch up on here. It's too much to try to tackle it all in one entry. For me to write it, and certainly for anyone to read the thing.

So I'll just do one subject at a time.

Back in the Fall, BadPickleGirl stole two of my favorite beer glasses. My Delirium Tremens glass, which had great sentimental value because its mate is with LaptopGirl, and my Gulden Draak glass, which was just a cool glass. Or maybe it was a Corsendonk Christmas Ale glass. Either way, cool glass.

Okay, so maybe saying she stole the things is stretching the truth a bit. How about if I say she used her feminine wiles to distract and hypnotize me, and thus caused me to leave those glasses at her house?

That's a little better. And, if you add the fact that she then dumped me so brutally that I became afraid to speak to her, let alone ask for my property back, well maybe that's a little more realistic.

Okay, so maybe she didn't brutally dump me. Maybe there was nothing to dump. Maybe I don't know what the fuck happened with her and/or us. What I do know is that (a) She stopped all contact with me, and (b) She still has my beer glasses.

Well, I'm nothing if not a problem solver.

My first, and most obvious choice, would be to be a man. To call BadPickleGirl and ask, nay, demand, that she return my beer glasses. And maybe that she sleep with me to make up for some of my pain and suffering.

I went in a different direction.

I bought some new glasses to replace the old ones.

I bought a new Delirium Tremens glass a couple of weeks ago, and I bought a new Gulden Draak glass this evening.

So, ha ha! That'll teach her. Or not.