First, I find it amusing, to think of the gears that might start turning in pretty little heads, when I write an entry like my last one. Beautiful brows furrowing as lovely lasses try to figure out if I could have dreamed about them. Praying to whatever god(s) they believe in that it wasn't them that I slaked and sullied in my dream.

Like I said, I find it amusing, that I can create fear and concern in another person so easily but passion, passion remains a burden I must shoulder alone.

Okay, so maybe that last part isn't quite so funny to me.

Anyway.

Today I was trying to think of the craziest thing I could do. I do that a lot. Not that I intend to ever do any of these crazy things. They're just fun to think about every now and then. Plus, thinking about them kind of reminds me of where I've been. And not doing them gives grudging acknowledgment that I'm not there anymore.

Today I was thinking about getting married.

Oh, and the girl I'd marry? She wouldn't be there, and she wouldn't even know about it. But I'd still vow to love her and honor her and cherish her.

Actually, I already do all of those things. Maybe, in my heart, I'm already married. Maybe I just need to admit it to myself.

I'll probably have more to write about this, but for now I've got to try to remember why it's crazy. Right now, it seems perfectly reasonable. Expected even.

It would practically be a crime against love itself if I didn't do it.