posted by dave on Monday, September 3, 2007 at 9:50 PM in category ramblings

There are always excuses. Always. Sometimes they're even good ones. Believeable ones. But not very often. Most of the time, they're lies.

Cruelty isn't nearly as common, I don't think. But perhaps it's its relative rarity that makes it sting so much.

Most of the time, I see right through the lies to the truth. Most of the time, I pretend to be a believer, because to cast light on the truth would make the liar feel uncomfortable. Because I would be doing it for the wrong reasons. Because it would be not for truth, but for validation. Because it would be cruel.

And I'm not cruel.

Most of the time, I ignore the cruelty when it comes my way. Most of the time, I bite my tongue and I wait for the excuse that will surely follow. Or for the lie that will surely follow. And then I close my mouth and I pretend to swallow.

Most of the time. But I fear that I'm about to be cruel. I'm teetering on the edge. Like, the next time someone lies to me, I feel like I may just call them on their lie. Or, the next time someone says something cruel to me, I may just blurt out the first response that pops into my head.

I think that everyone needs to stay away from me for a while. I'll do my part, I hope that others do theirs.

For the record, I do not like what has become of me lately. I seem to have reverted to my 23-years-old self. I don't like it one tiny bit.

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