A dude asked me tonight, when he saw me relax for the first time in hours, how I was doing. He was just being polite, I'm sure. It's just something you ask people when you kinda know them and can kinda sense that they're deep in thought.
"Hey Dave, how are you doing?" he asked.
He was just being polite. He certainly didn't ask for, or deserve, the crap I answered him with.
"Things are incredibly fantastic," I said. "And things are unimaginably terrible. There is no middle ground. But at least I'm not bored."
In other words, I told him the truth. And that truth led to even more truth. I couldn't shut the fuck up. It was a fucking endless loop, until OldBob joined us and managed to swing the subject to something besides how I was doing.
What was I thinking? Very few people deserve to hear the unwashed truth from me, and even fewer people ask for that truth. And this guy was in neither group. I don't even know his damn name.
I should have said, "I'm fine" and let it go at that. Or maybe, "I'm just ducky." Because I say that a lot too, when I want people to leave me alone. It confuses people, when I say that I'm just ducky. They're not sure what it means. Gives me time to escape, or at least change the subject.