You know what would have been really cool, back when I was about 14?

If aliens would have came and beamed me up to their spaceship.

I used to daydream about that, back in junior high. The aliens would come and kidnap me and this one cute girl I had a major crush on. Then they'd make us have sex so they could study us.

Of course I'd pretend that I was against the whole thing. But secretly I'd be grateful for the aliens and their twisted obsession with watching teenaged humans have sex. I'd be grateful, of course, because it would mean that I got to have sex with that cute girl.

And, if she didn't like that we had to have sex, I could just say, "Sorry, it's not my idea. It's these damn aliens. Take your pants off."

And then, after a while, she'd come to love me and actually look forward to all the sex. Then we'd somehow kill the aliens and steal their spaceship and explore the universe together. And have lots of sex, of course.

I know, this is a weird entry.