The other day in an email, I wrote or at least implied that things are worse now than they were before.

I didn't mean to imply that.

Things are not worse. They're just different.

Incredibly different.

What used to be an unrelenting ache has been replaced by something else. By two different things, actually.

Palpable potential for incredible joy followed, almost inevitably, by nearly unbearable disappointment.

I got used to that old life. It took a while, but I eventually learned to accept it.

This new life? It will also take time for me to adjust.

I'm trying to be patient about this. I really am.