I would say that, if you think you know me at all - even if it's only from what you've read in this journal - then you would be fully justified in being proud of me right now.
Me? I'm not quite so sure. But then, I know more about the situation than you do. I alone, I think, really know what's at stake.
After tonight, I'm certainly not disgusted with myself, as has so often been the case lately. I did a tiny thing, which I felt needed to be done, and so I got to come home with a slight feeling of accomplishment. Instead of that feeling of cowardice to which I'd become so accustomed.
I await any ramifications with a little bit of fear, and a little bit of anticipation. Odds are, there will be no discernable ramifications at all. But I'm the only one who suspects that it was all a waste of time and effort. Others silently applauded me tonight, after only a little bit of encouragement from me.
I'm not sure if I did something good, and I'm not sure if I did something bad. What I'm sure of is that, finally, I did something.