I just read a blog that I haven't read in months.

Why did I do this?

Because I'm stupid, that's why.

Anyway, hidden among the blather and the drivel and all the other bloggish stuff that one comes to expect - especially if you read the crap that I write - I found this one particular sentence.

I'm not going to quote the sentence. It's nobody's business. But I will respond to the sentence, in a way.

I used to, for a short time, provide that shoulder for you to lean on. I never thought that you took enough advantage of it, but I always figured that you had your reasons. Now, my shoulder is unencumbered and cold, and I miss the purpose that your head used to provide.

Feel free to infer whatever meaning you want. Everyone else certainly will.

The truth doesn't matter if nobody believes it. It's like that tree falling with nobody around thing. It's irrelevant.

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I've been having a problem lately with dreams.

I've had so many dreams, and of such a vivid variety, that I've found myself confused. I can't always differentiate those things that really happened from those things that only happened in dreams.

If I had seen LaptopGirl tonight, I would have told her how happy I was that she wasn't a little toy red octopus anymore. Because I had a dream this afternoon, and in that dream she'd turned into a little toy red octopus. And I had to carry her around to keep these two asshole kids from throwing her into walls to watch her "walk" down.

If I had seen her, I doubt that I'd have been able to contain my relief. I'd have told her how relieved I was.

Also.

My dream self is so eloquent in his conversations and his explanations. I often wake up overflowing with confidence.

Because I know that I'll be able to say the things that need to be said, should the opportunity or need ever arise.

I mean, if my dream self can say such beautiful things, speaking out of his ass, then my awake self should do even better.

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Tonight, several times every minute, I imagined something. This one tiny particular thing. Each and every time, several times a minute, I became awash with joy. Just because of that little thing I was imagining.

It was really cool.