posted by dave on Sunday, May 4, 2008 at 12:54 AM in category daily

Today, I might have killed a horse. Or at least helped to kill the poor thing.

I went to my friend Eric's Derby party. I hadn't been planning to make any bets beyond the pseudo-bet of paying $5 and drawing a horse out of an envelope. I got Anak Kara or something like that. I think it's still running.

But then LaptopGirl and I made an arrangement. I would bet her favorite horses and then split any winnings with her.

This betting frenzy, apparently, spurred BadPickleGirl's interest, and so she ended up placing her own bet.

She bet the filly. The only filly in the thing. The filly that came in second. The filly that, immediately after the race, broke both its front ankles, collapsed on the track, and was euthanized.

That filly.

Anyway, while I mostly rooted for LaptopGirl's (and therefore my) horses, I also found myself silently rooting for BadPickleGirl's horse.

Maybe, I think, if I hadn't rooted for the filly, maybe it wouldn't have run so hard. And then, maybe, it wouldn't have broken its ankles and had to be put down.

I'm not saying its all my fault. That would be silly. But I bet it's at least partly my fault.

Also, there seems to be a pattern lately of horses breaking their legs while running. Maybe it's a conspiracy. Somebody should look into this.

I'd look into it myself, but I'm too busy right now trying to figure out why I just wasted 120 minutes of my life.

comments (1)

OMG! I so understand. You see, I killed Jerry Garcia.

Many years ago I was in one of those "14 cd's for a penny then get ripped off for two years" clubs. Anywho, I'm paging through the catalog trying to figure out what I wanted to buy and thought..."You know, I don't have any Grateful Dead, and I suppose everyone should have at least one." So I picked their Greatest Hits and wrote it down on the form. Then mumbled to myself, with sort of a chuckle, "Now watch, I'll love the cd and want to follow them around the country or something but they'll finally just die and I'll be pissed and disappointed, hehe." I dropped it in the mailbox at the end of the driveway.
The next day, I was driving for some lunch and heard on the radio in my car that Jerry Garcia had passed. So the mailman took my order form....and then the fates--spurred by me--took Garcia.
He had a really big following, so I try not to tell too many people about my crime, as they may come seek vengeance. You might want to also consider laying low for a few weeks(or years.)

It should be noted, when trying to understand the dark powers sustaining Jagger and Richards, that I do not own any Rolling Stones--for which their fans and loved ones should thank me.

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