So I've been thinking about having a midlife crisis. I suppose I'm about due, as I haven't had one since I first moved to Seattle. I tried to have one a few years ago, but it never did catch on.

That Seattle midlife crisis was fun, maybe I could have fun again.

Anyway, I remember seeing a video on the internet, a long time ago. This dude was sitting on a motorcycle in a driveway, revving it up and showing off or something, and he did something wrong and smashed into the garage door.

I think it killed him, so it probably wasn't as funny as it would have otherwise been.

I'm pretty sure that, should my new midlife crisis hold a psychological gun to my head and force me to buy a motorcycle, I'm pretty sure that I'd at least do better than that guy did. I don't think I'd crash into my garage door. Nope, I've always pictured myself as being one of those guys who'd run over an acorn or something and that would cause me to wipe out and kill myself.

I'd probably be better off with a Corvette. I think a Corvette would be pretty much acorn-proof. Unless there was a whole shitload of them. Part of some vast conspiracy, perhaps.

Plus, I think chicks dig Corvettes even more than motorcycles.

(Update: I've been informed that motorcycles are more attractive, in general. But I think I'll stick with my opinion, because I believe that the attractiveness of being a living person vs. being a corpse would far outweigh that of having two wheels vs. four.)