posted by dave on Tuesday, July 29, 2008 at 1:49 PM in category daily

Nope, not talking about me. Though that's certainly an understandable mistake.

I'm talking about my brother-in-law, Chris.

So Sunday evening we're all sitting on Dina's deck, mostly watching the kids splash each other in the pool, and all of a sudden I hear Dina shout out, "Chris, be careful!"

I glanced over toward Chris, and caught a glimpse of him falling off the deck. Then about a half-second later, I saw the extremely heavy wooden bench fall off the edge of the deck right after Chris. There were several loud thuds and maybe even a crack.

I think that, for a second or two, every single one of us figured Chris has just been killed right in front of us.

Dina, being younger, was faster than I was in getting up and running to where Chris had fallen. I was about a second behind. Chris's wife (my sister Neisha) was in the pool, as were all the kids.

But before anyone (except Dina) could really start to freak out, Chris announced, "I'm fine."

And, apparently, he was. Despite falling several feet at an odd angle and then having an 800-lb bench fall on top of him, Chris stood up, did a quick count of limbs and digits, and again announced that he was fine.

In fact, he was in much better shape than Dina was, what with the fifteen simultaneous heart attacks she was having. But all ended well.

So, whew! right?

The theory I came up with is that Chris is indestructible. Seeing several rocks, sticks, and other assorted improvisational weapons scattered about Dina's yard, I suggested that we should test my theory.

It would have been fun, I thought. But nobody else wanted to do it, so I left and went to Red Lobster for dinner instead.

comments (3)

He is indeed indestructable - for the most part. I've witnessed in our 12 years of marriage - him almost step on a copperhead, catch himself on fire (several times), have a HUGE limb nearly take his head off while he was stupidly trying to cut it off with a chainsaw above his head. Although, as he gets older his age is coming through. 2 years ago he decided to show Logan how to ramp - errrr NOT ramp a bike. He crashed and broke several ribs. Just as he was almost healed he thought it would be fun to ride a wooden roller coaster, where he ref*cked them up. Just a few months ago he fell during soccer and ripped the ligaments in his ankle, which was almost healed, until Sunday's fall....which he was SO LUCKY. I worry about my husband sometimes. In his mind he's still 18 and has no clue he's 43.

Good thing you put that asterisk in that dirty word. I'd hate for my blog's pure and innocent reputation to have been sullied.

What would be worse is for you to know that your baby sister even knows such a dirty word.

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