Nope, not talking about me. Though that's certainly an understandable mistake.

I'm talking about my brother-in-law, Chris.

So Sunday evening we're all sitting on Dina's deck, mostly watching the kids splash each other in the pool, and all of a sudden I hear Dina shout out, "Chris, be careful!"

I glanced over toward Chris, and caught a glimpse of him falling off the deck. Then about a half-second later, I saw the extremely heavy wooden bench fall off the edge of the deck right after Chris. There were several loud thuds and maybe even a crack.

I think that, for a second or two, every single one of us figured Chris has just been killed right in front of us.

Dina, being younger, was faster than I was in getting up and running to where Chris had fallen. I was about a second behind. Chris's wife (my sister Neisha) was in the pool, as were all the kids.

But before anyone (except Dina) could really start to freak out, Chris announced, "I'm fine."

And, apparently, he was. Despite falling several feet at an odd angle and then having an 800-lb bench fall on top of him, Chris stood up, did a quick count of limbs and digits, and again announced that he was fine.

In fact, he was in much better shape than Dina was, what with the fifteen simultaneous heart attacks she was having. But all ended well.

So, whew! right?

The theory I came up with is that Chris is indestructible. Seeing several rocks, sticks, and other assorted improvisational weapons scattered about Dina's yard, I suggested that we should test my theory.

It would have been fun, I thought. But nobody else wanted to do it, so I left and went to Red Lobster for dinner instead.