posted by dave on Sunday, August 31, 2008 at 10:34 AM in category drink

After I went back to Polly's to get Happy his milkshake, I took a fairly long nap. See, there was a .000427% chance that I'd get to do something fun later, and I wanted to be refreshed.

Then at 7:30 or so I went to Rich O's.

It was pretty crowded, mostly with strangers. I ordered a Marzen (5133) and stood at the end of the bar for a while. TremensGirl was there, in an actual dress. That's why I didn't recognize her at first. Also, StoreGirl and her husband NotBill were there. I hadn't seen them in a very long time.

After a while some dorks left the bar so I went and sat there. I had a little pizza. TremensGirl offered me the throne but I declined. There's a limit to my sociability, and there was this one dipshit on the sofa who is way beyond that limit.

Anyway, these two drunk old women came in and sat at the kiddie table. I'd guess they were between 50 and 150 years old. Hard to tell as they were both made up like prostitutes. As luck would have it, they both immediately started trying to engage me in conversation, so I picked up my shit and moved to the recently-vacated island.

What happened next was that StoreGirl and NotBill came over and joined me, and for some reason they invited the old women over as well.


So our new "friends" managed to slur out that they'd both just gotten divorced, and that they were looking for a good time. I shivered for about 10 minutes and then managed to shoot off a couple of flares in the form of emails begging for rescue.

No rescue ever came, and I was getting pretty sick of being leaned on and having my arm touched. I was just about to get rude and pick up my shit and move back to the bar, but instead NotBill had a great idea. He and I started telling the old women about all the other great bars around. I think they ended up going to Sluttopia.

Oh yeah, at about the time I ordered my second Marzen (5150) my hot girl sensors overloaded. I looked at the door, and it was ImprobablyHotMarriedGirl! I bounced over and gave her a hug, and looked for the other half of TeamHotness, UnbearablyHotSingleGirl. But she was nowhere to be seen. I hope they're not fighting.

It was still very cool though. I hadn't seen ImprobablyHotMarriedGirl in months. Unfortunately, they had too many people in their party to be able to join StoreGirl and NotBill and me at the island, so they went out front somewhere.

I came home at 10:00, because I'd stopped drinking after that second Marzen. There was still a .000016% chance that I'd get to do something fun later, after all.

Well, that slim chance eventually dwindled to nothing, but I got to have a little emailathon, and that was very nice.

At the end of the night I had another Marzen (5167) out on my swing and I thought happy thoughts.

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