So I've been thinking a lot lately. That's not really anything new. I do it all the time. Lately, however, it's been so damn futile that I don't know why I'm even bothering to think at all.
Problem is, I don't know what I want. And it's not that I keep changing my mind. I don't even seem to have a mind to change.
My resolve is strong, but what exactly is my resolution?
I don't know what I want because I don't know who I am, and so I don't know what to do. I'm living on reflex, and I don't like it.
Very frustrating. For years I knew exactly who I was, and what I wanted, and so I could act accordingly.
Now, I look in the mirror and I see a stranger with some hidden desire, and I wish he'd let me in on the damn secret.