It is a long and winding path, this one that I stand before. That we stand before.
Every now and then, bolstered by alcohol and desperation, I test my footing, just in front of where I stand. But it's just a test. I place my foot forward, and I brush the ground with my toes, and I almost shift my weight forward, but not quite.
I am afraid, you see. Afraid of tiring, and afraid of making a wrong turn, and afraid of losing my concentration and my footing. Slipping and falling. But mostly, afraid of finding myself on this path alone.
See, this is not a journey that I can make by myself.
I try. Every now and then, I really do try to fix things between us. Or to at least define things between us.
I try, and I fail, every time.
I will keep trying.