posted by dave on Friday, July 3, 2009 at 7:59 AM in category drink, ramblings

Maybe it's just a matter of reigning myself in a little. I've certainly been unable to stop myself, even though quite often lately I've wanted to do just that.

This is an idea I had come to me last night. Apparently this idea was hiding at the bottom of a glass of Marzen (12419). That's a weird place for an idea to be hiding, but I'll still take it.

Wanting something because you feel like you should want it, or because you used to want it, or because you can't think of anything better?

Smells like bullshit to me.

I've been so damn stubborn. I watched everything crumble and I refused to really accept that it was happening. Had happened. Whatever.

Trying to stay somewhat cryptic here, while remaining readable. I don't think I'm succeeding.

The other night I found myself smiling, when I had a realization that there was one thing that hadn't crumbled.

One thing that hadn't changed.

And it never will. And it's the only thing that matters. There need be no expectations to erode or desires to dull. Lust lessens and faith falters and wants wane and hope becomes hazy.

Fuck all that other stuff, all that icing. I really think I can do this. I've already been doing it for years, after all.

comments (3)

>>Fuck all that other stuff, all that icing.

Then why all the torment? You love her.
You put her above the rest.
You measure all around you according to her metric.
You know in your heart no one she loves will ever love her as much as you do.

So what's the problem? Except for the one you're creating for yourself. If it doesn't matter that the love is not reciprocated then quit pineing about/for it.

How's the job search coming along?
How's your pool game?
Playing in a league? Are you a certified instructor?

Don't worry--you were sufficiently cryptic whilst maintaining readability.

The job search seems to be nothing but dead-ends so far. The pool game is pretty good, as I've been playing an awful lot. Haven't played in a league since 1998. I'm not a certified instructor, but I know a good one if you're interested.

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