Okay, so I wrote this back in 1996:
A million times.That was written well over three years ago, for those of you still doubting me.
Disappointment times a million.
It never fades. It never gets any easier. It always astounds me with its intensity.
Someday, it will end.
Someday, in a portion of a fraction of an instant, disappointment will transform into joy.
Until then, disappointment will be my reason for living. My purpose. My destiny. My fucking calling.
After that, well I guess I'll have to wait and see what happens after that.
Anyway, that one sentence - the one about joy?
Hope is what caused me to write that sentence.
I miss having a reason to write sentences like that.
Maybe someday, somehow, I'll have another reason...
Damn. There I go again, having stupid hope.