Dave, your life lacks purpose. This blog reads like a soap opera (i.e. it's the same thing over and over with no resolution). Yours is the malaise of the modern man. You have too much time on your hands. Many cliches have gained favor because in them there is truth. Here's one: Life is short. Stop frittering yours away. That girl is gone and she isn't coming back. Ever. Move on. Find a purpose. You aren't even playing pool. As a wise man once said, "Up in the morning/Work like a dog/It's better than sitting/Like a bump on a log" You were so close to the truth on the third. Stop waiting for life to come to you. Go get some. Be productive. Give of yourself. Genuinely. No more of these "I did my good deed, now reward me Karma" posts. It isn't a good deed if you expect a reward. Life is a precious gift. Stop wasting it on self-absorption, sleeping in, pub life, and tobacco. You're a middle-aged man. Start acting like it and stop with all this "(blank)girl" nonsense. Do some hard physical labor. Commit to something besides indulgence and stick with it. Soon you'll be dead. Do you really want your legacy to be a list of all the beer you consumed? You can do much better.

I'm always envious of people who's lives are so perfect that they have the time and wisdom to tell strangers how to live theirs.