posted by dave on Tuesday, August 17, 2010 at 10:51 PM in category ramblings

Well, this should be interesting. And brief. Or maybe just brief.

My brain is infused with hardening cement right now, so my fingers will have to come up with a blog entry all on their own.


I had this thought last night. Just a random thought like millions of others that have popped into my head over the years. Preventing sleep. Unleashing dozens or hundreds of linked thoughts to tumble and crash.

What if I had a choice?

That was the thought. Six simple words, but six words strung together in a sequence that they'd somehow managed to elude for a very very very long time.

Just a simple question, really. But not to me. And, and the answers...

I can't stop thinking about the question I asked or answers that I almost immediately, reflexively, instinctively, gave last night, as I toed the line between awake and asleep.

Someone else, I answered.

Anyone else, I continued.

And, even more surprising and unexpected than the answers, was the fact that the question could exist in the first place.

Everything has changed now, mostly because I asked, but also because I answered the way that I did.

This won't last. Only one thing ever lasts.

comments (7)

Dave, I think your "allergies" and coughing would be a lot less of an issue if you stopped smoking.

It would be neat if you had a choice. Unfortunately, every philosophy and religion I've ever heard of teaches and preaches that we have no free will and that our lives are predetermined.

And what is that one thing that lasts? Death? Taxes? Your unrequited obsession for a person who cares not? Do tell.

Hey, I have an idea! You should volunteer at a soup kitchen. If the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over while expecting a different result (which is also the definition of Dave Siltz's life) this might throw Karma a curve ball. Oh, right, I free will. Well, have at it, Sissyphus!

Yeah, it certainly wouldn't hurt, unless the shock to my system killed me.

Please watch the quotes. I might have to start wondering whether you really "don't" blow dead goats.

I did the soup kitchen thing in Seattle. It was pretty cool, until we ran out of food and they all got pissed.

The no-free-will people piss me off. I think fate is a crutch, an excuse for weak-willed people to use when things don't go their way.

It's amazing how adept some people are at getting around with crutches. I guess if you use them enough you can forget they're ever there.

I don't know if they forget the crutches are there, or if they just decided to start pretending that they're not a handicap.

post a comment

If you haven't left a comment here before, you may need to be approved before your comment will appear. Until then, it won't appear on the entry. Thanks for waiting.

I'll pretty much approve anything except SPAM comments, or comments that clearly have no purpose except to piss me off, or comments that are insulting to a previous commenter.

Use anything you want for your name and email address. I think it has to at least look like a valid email address though.

mysterious gray box mysterious blue box mysterious red box mysterious green box mysterious gold box

search main 'blog





Search word(s)
   help me!

blog favorites

the convenience of grief
merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
nothing personal
the one
dream sweet dreams for me
the willow bends and so do i
on bloodied ground
lack of inertia
thinning the herd
or maybe not
here's looking at you
what i miss
who wants to play?
feverish thoughts
the devil inside?
my cat ate my homework
don't say i didn't warn you
my god, it's full of stars
hold on a second, koko, i'm writing something
you know?
apples and oranges
happy new year
pissing on the inside
remembering dad

Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.