I was looking through some old draft entries, and I ran across this gem. Everything you ever wanted to know about the first decade of my life:
1965: I was born. My hobbies included drooling and pooping.
1966: Late in the year I got a sister. Little did I know that it would take me another 20 years to come to grips with that fact.
1967: I learned how to call my grandmother on the phone, so I did that every 10 seconds or so.
1968: My hobbies included being a brat.
1969: Dad had us watch some dudes walking on the moon. I don't think anything else happened that year.
1970: I walked to kindergarten and back every day. My hobbies included running through sliding-glass doors, cutting the shit out of myself, and giving my mother gray hairs.
1971: We moved to a new house. I started first grade.
1972: I discovered that girls were good for other things besides throwing dirt at them. I forget what those other things are.
1973: Late in the year Mom brought home another sister. I hid in a tree because I'd wanted a brother.
1975: I turned 10, so I was officially a man.