I was looking through some old draft entries, and I ran across this gem. Everything you ever wanted to know about the first decade of my life:
1965: I was born. My hobbies included drooling and pooping.
1966: Late in the year I got a sister. Little did I know that it would take me another 20 years to come to grips with that fact.
1967: I learned how to call my grandmother on the phone, so I did that every 10 seconds or so.
1968: My hobbies included being a brat.
1969: Dad had us watch some dudes walking on the moon. I don't think anything else happened that year.
1970: I walked to kindergarten and back every day. My hobbies included running through sliding-glass doors, cutting the shit out of myself, and giving my mother gray hairs.
1971: We moved to a new house. I started first grade.
1972: I discovered that girls were good for other things besides throwing dirt at them. I forget what those other things are.
1973: Late in the year Mom brought home another sister. I hid in a tree because I'd wanted a brother.
1974: Tornadoes!!!!
1975: I turned 10, so I was officially a man.
I love this! I still remember you walking down the hill to Kindergarden. I was so amazed at how grown-up you were and couldn't wait to be a grown-up like you. Of course I also remember you riding your bike down that same hill and not being able to stop. You crashed your bike and I was glad I wasn't you. I still think we need to go by our old house with pictures in hand and see if we can take a look around. With our luck, they're cooking meth in there and if they let us in they'd have to kill us. Yes, I am still the cautious one.
posted by: Dina | April 9, 2011 7:24 AM
I don't remember crashing my bike down that hill. I remember the neighbor across the street had a blacktop driveway (must have been a billionaire) and I liked to coast down that driveway to get started.
posted by: dave | April 9, 2011 7:37 AM
You forgot 1976: I watch an especially large Independance Day celebration and begin to emotionally devolve for the next 35 years.
posted by: Arnie | April 19, 2011 2:36 PM
I think my original plan was to cover every year from my birth until the present, but then I realized that the last several years would all be about a certain person, and so I lost interest in writing it.
posted by: dave | April 19, 2011 2:50 PM