(Everybody gets different nicknames for this entry. Just mixing things up a little.)
I don't know how to start this entry.
The most natural place to start would be at the beginning, but what was the beginning?
Was it when I arrived at Rich O's? Was it when ZodiacGirl called to see if I was going to Rich O's? Perhaps it was sometime during the day when I began imagining all kinds of scenarios, each one worse than the one before, that had me all but convinced that setting foot outside my door would be a very bad idea.
Because even though my life and my mood have taken a turn very much for the worse, there's still a lot of room for things to degrade even more.
If I hadn't already used up the balancing metaphor back in August this would be a perfect time to whip it out. Back then I flailed my arms to stay happy. Now happiness isn't really an option and I need a new metaphor.
Oooh! I know! I'm in a frying pan, trying to keep out of the fire! That's a good one!
Yesterday, as I mentioned, I kept thinking up all these ways that Friday night could possibly play out. I wanted to get all of the possibilities in my head so (a)I wouldn't be surprised by any of them, and (b)I would know how to respond. What ended up happening wasn't the worst thing I imagined, but it was far from the best.
I got out of the shower last night and found that ZodiacGirl had left a message. She needed to know if I was going keep my promise to be her eyes and ears at Rich O's while she was away. Being blown off on Monday, having no contact all week, then being called on Friday for this reason - I suppose now we know just who misses who the most.
I win! I am the saddest! Yay for me!
Anyway, I called ZodiacGirl back and promised to call her from the bar and tell her the happenings therein and read her horoscope to her.
On the way, I stopped to see TracingGirl. I had to tell her that she needed to snap me up quickly as I surely wouldn't be on the market for long. Maybe I'd start rebuilding the walls that had crumbled lately, or maybe I'd succumb to the charms of someone like the old lady at Wendy's. I told TracingGirl that for this very brief period I was both vulnerable and unattached so she'd better act quickly.
When I arrived at Rich O's I wanted to turn around and leave. The place was very very crowded and there was no place to sit and there was nobody I knew there. I couldn't leave until I'd made my report to ZodiacGirl though. I called her, got her voicemail, and read her horoscope to her as she'd requested.
I decided to stay for just one beer. I sat at the couch, ordered myself a Kwak, and did my best to ignore the weirdoes sitting all around me.
It's amazing how alone a person can feel in a crowded room.
Perhaps the loathing I was radiating towards the weirdoes actually worked. Perhaps they were leaving anyway. What was important is that they did leave shortly after I'd sat down. I ordered myself another Kwak and talked to ZodiacGirl again on the phone. I told her that there was nobody but a bunch of strangers there and that was pretty much the gist of the three or four more conversations we had last night.
At one point I looked up and was very surprised to see my sister and her fiancé Kenny come in! Dina knew my mood and I guess wanted to help cheer me up. It worked.
The three of us sat around while Dina and I talked about dreams and nightmares and other fluff.
SunburnGirl joined us for a while.
There was a girl that looked like a cross between ZodiacGirl and CannonGirl. And she was cute. So now I know that those two would have cute kids if only biology would allow it.
I had a Mad Bitch.
ZodiacGirl called a couple more times. I told her I missed her and that nobody interesting had appeared at Rich O's.
Once Dina and Kenny and SunburnGirl had left I had myself a Guinness in ZodiacGirl's honor then talked with BusDude for a while about his party next Friday. I will probably go.
Maybe I'll take WendysLady.