During the first Gulf War, I switched to Diet Coke from regular Coke and lost 30 pounds in a month. Gained it all back over the next few years.

In 1993, I began work as a bartender and lost 20 pounds in five weeks. Gained it all back, and then some, over the next decade.

Last August I thought I was losing some weight.

Last month I started doing something I hadn't done in years. I started wearing a belt to hold my pants up.

Two days ago I did something else I haven't done in years. I started buckling my belt one notch further in.

I'm wasting away here, people.

I've managed to lose 21 pounds since the late Summer by doing the following:

1. Increase my beer intake.

2. Decrease my sleep.

3. Increase my stress level.

I think what I've managed to do is up my metabolism. Those several weeks that my mind raced along about my troubles - I think some of that excess energy spilled over to the rest of me. It's like my internal thermostat got bumped up to a higher level or something.