For my final night in St. Louis, I decided that I wanted to experience Laclede's Landing. So I took a cab back over to the Morgan Street Brewpub.
I took notes.
7:45
The bar is packed. The street is packed. I steal a stool from a guy that got stood up and I sit. I order a yummy Morgan Street Irish Stout (16) and a Diet Coke. I know I'll need to pace myself tonight.
7:47
The exact same bartenders are working - two hot girls and a neo-nazi and a punk rock guy.
7:50
This one bartender with the pigtails reminds me of someone. I don't know who though. Somebody hot I guess.
7:55
I didn't pace myself very well today. I think it was that Scotch Ale that messed everything up.
7:56
This beer is more roasty than I remember from yesterday. Still yummy though.
8:00
I missed HatGirl's party today. That sucks.
8:03
Piss time.
8:07
I'm ordering some smoked duck in wontons. I don't know why - I guess it just looked intriguing.
8:09
One of the hot bartenders asked me what I was writing about. She asked me if I was writing about what I ate and drank, and I said that I was. She then asked if it was because I was on a diet. Ouch.
8:11
The guy I stole the stool from is talking on his phone. He's talking about his dick and how he makes it go grocery shopping and check his mailbox for him. It's hilarious.
8:17
OMG this duck stuff is delicious!
8:24
The last one was burned. Oh well.
8:26
DickGuy and LongHairedHottie are talking about tans and the lack thereof. They both, at the same time, pointed at me and said, "Now that guy is white!" So now I'm a fat albino. Great, just great.
8:39
The brewer's name is Mark Gottfried, according to LongHairedHottie.
8:47
I spent the last 10 minutes telling a guy what he'd just sampled and explaining the differences to him. He then went and asked the bartender the exact same questions. WTF? I'm wearing a shirt that says "Beer is Food" right on the front so that should be a slight indication that I know what I'm talking about.
8:49
LongHairedHottie and PigTailHottie just tore ass out of here. They're probably going home to masturbate while fantasizing about my fat albino ass.
8:55
Piss time.
8:58
OMG The World's Most Lickable Girl is sitting right behind me!
8:59
DickGuy just now ended his phone call.
9:03
The new hot girl that took over for LongHairedHottie must be new. I'm dying of thirst and she's just standing around looking pretty.
9:07
I order a Winter Lager (40) and I move to the outside seating. It might be too dark to write out there.
9:08
It seems like it may storm soon. Cool.
9:10
I guess I'm in the Morgan Street patio area, not the street seating. It's boring here.
9:13
I'm moving to the street seating.
9:16
I've been sitting out here two minutes and I've already been interrogated twice. I'm staying until somebody want to sit here and eat.
9:21
These streets seemed a lot more rowdy 20 years ago. Nice everybody is nice and tame. I wonder where the woohoos are. I guess it's still kinda early though.
9:23
This Winter Lager stuff is fucking yummy!
9:26
It's an older crowd here than I would have expected. Some of these people are even older than me if you can believe that.
9:27
I feel sorry for these horses that have to pull idiots around all day.
9:29
I finally, just now, heard my first "WooHoo!" of the night. About fucking time.
9:34
I might vomit now, because this chick walking past me is gross.
9:35
Crisis averted. I closed my eyes and thought about MixedSignalGirl, and how we were always supposed to come to St. Louis together, until the skanky gross chick had gone by.
9:36
Guess who I miss now.
9:38
I'm taking my shit back into the bar because I have to piss.
9:40
Piss time.
9:42
LongHairedHottie and PigTailHottie are back. They just went to get something to eat. Or so they say. I'm sticking with my masturbation theory.
9:50
LongHairedHottie keeps talking to me. She wants me. Can't she tell that there are like three or four other girls ahead of her in the line for my affection?
9:51
I wish I was a poet. I could write a poem now.
9:55
The gay hockey fans just arrived.
9:57
LongHairedHottie has a nice ass, but it's not as nice as the girl's from last night.
9:58
The gay hockey guys are woohoos.
10:00
Either the lights just dimmed or I'm having a stroke.
10:01
Whew! It was the lights.
10:04
Under the arch there's a museum. In the museum there's a stuffed bison. The bison is posed with its tail slightly raised, so its asshole is exposed. The taxidermist must have spent a lot of time perfectly preserving that bison's asshole. Maybe my job isn't so bad after all.
10:10
I'm cutting myself off. I'm such a good citizen.
10:14
I kinda want to stick something into one of PigTailHottie's orifices. I don't really care what I stick, or where I stick it. My toe in her nose? That would be awesome.
10:33
I just spent 15 minutes talking to some Romanian chick. I must be the first person that's ever talked to her in her entire life because she wouldn't shut up.
10:40
Piss time.
10:45
The chicks that were in the bathroom have asked me to joined them at their table outside. I have to stop writing now so I can go sit with hot girls. Woe is me.
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I should just stop this entry right here. I had one hot bartender, one Romanian chick, and two hot girls that like to go the bathroom together - all interested in me.
I should just stop writing and let everyone's imaginations run wild.
