Yesterday, I went driving.

First, I went to get my oil changed in my truck.

Then I went out to my sister's house to see her new kitten.

Then I hit the road.

After about six hours of driving, I ended up in downtown Louisville. A mere five miles from my home. I obviously took the scenic route.

So at a little after 7:00 I was sitting in this place called The Dark Star and I was eating a yummy cheeseburger and drinking a yummy BBC Jefferson's Reserve Bourbon Barrel Stout (314), and the cast of all the Batman movies walked in.

There was Batman, and Catwoman, and The Joker, and Two-Face, and some harlequin chick that I guess was one of the Joker's henchmen.

Catwoman and the harlequin chick were hot. All of the costumes were great.

After I'd finished my meal and my beer I walked up the street to The Pub and had a couple of Newcastles (2626) and I wrote down all of the costumes that I saw. You should be aware that some of these might not have been actual costumes. Those characters marked with an * are the ones that might have been real:

• The Blues Brothers


• Pirate


• Stupid Hairstyle Guy *


• Active Herpes Outbreak Girl *


• Joe Dirt


• Kermit (or, Green Tights Dude with Frog-Shaped Tumor On His Head)


• Terrorist (had a bomb in his turban, how original)


• Hot Rasta Girl


• Security Guard *


• Prostitute *


• Fireman


• Hot Pirate Girl


• Fat Bumblebee Girl


• Assorted Zombies


• Living Crocodile Hunter


• Dead Crocodile Hunter


• Nacho Libre


• Assorted Faeries


• Stick Up Her Ass Girl *


• Cute Devil Girl (my waitress)


• Rambette (like Rambo but a girl)


• Green Dude In A Suit (maybe an alien?)


• Vampire Couple


• World's Gayest Guy *


• Assorted Sexy Nurses


• World's Ugliest Cheerleader


• Goth Girl


• Orange Pants Faggot *


• Joe Dirt (another one)


• Fatass Ex-Jock Guy *


• Assorted Evil Clowns


• Assorted Non-Evil Clowns


• Striped Shirt Girl


• Skinhead Punks *


• Gay Black Uncle Sam (his description)


• Really Tall Skull Dude


• Little Miss Muffet


• Bloody Surgeon


• Hot Navy Girl


• Hot Army Girl


• Hot Burkha Girl


• Assorted Cute Princesses

At 10:00 or so, my phone vibrated.

HatGirl!

Yay!

They were at Rich O's.

So I went there. Out on the street there were a gazillion more people in costumes, but I didn't stop to write any of them down or I'd still be writing.

Oh yeah, I'd talked to this one zombie at The Pub and he gave me a beer shirt and a free glass to give to HatGirl. I had to lie and say that they were for my girlfriend, but the sheer joy in HatGirl's eyes when I gave her those gifts - well it was certainly worth a little fib.

When I got to Rich O's I got to sit on the throne because TallLady had just left. I knew this because I'd talked to her in the parking lot. There were some girls I didn't recognize scattered around the living room. They might have been cute but I wouldn't know because HatGirl was at the kiddie table.

Yay!

I had myself a Diet Coke and talked to HatGirl and LuckyFucker for a while. I got NotHideousGirl's phone number from HatGirl, but it might have been a fake number because I sent a test text message and I've recieved no response.

Then after HatGirl and LuckyFucker left I talked to WomanRepellant for a while.

Then I came home.