In the year 2008, I resolve to...
...drink more beer than is probably healthy for me, but it will only be good beer, so my snobbish ways can continue.
...not lose even an ounce of weight. And, even if I do manage to lower the scale because of illness or some such, I resolve to immediately gain it all back, and then add a few extra pounds just to teach myself a lesson.
...blow minor things way out of proportion, lose sight of what's really important, and just generally make a ass out of myself over trivial bullshit.
...ignore anything that might be considered encouraging. Not that I expect anything encouraging to ever happen, but I resolve to ignore such things, just in case. It's preemptive and stuff.
...automatically assume that most people are idiots or assholes or whores or sluts until they prove otherwise. And, furthermore, I resolve to immediately revert to my initial assessment the first time anyone does something I don't like.
