So many people advised me to lie to her. To keep living my lie of omission. "Don't tell her everything," they said. "Just be happy with what you have," they said. "Don't rock the boat," they said.
But the damn boat was already sinking. So I sounded the alarm. I stopped lying.
And then, yesterday, she said that nobody ever says what's on their mind, except for me. I took that as a compliment.
She keeps using the f-word to describe what we're doing. But I don't think of it that way at all. It's not a friendship, at least not from my perspective.
Nope, from where I sit, it's a one-sided love affair.
A million times better than a friendship, and a million times worse.
Considering how I started missing her before I'd made it halfway out of her parking lot last night, of course I wanted to go back later and see her some more. But, considering how I actually started missing her before I'd gone three steps out of her door, I didn't think it would be a good idea.
Yesterday the only beer I had was about half a Schlenkerla Marzen (6016) at 1:00 or so. I have some pumpkin beers in my fridge, but I'm saving those for something.
This was funny in real life. Not mean at all.