I was in a convenience store, and a bunch of guys came in to rob the place. At first, I wasn't going to resist, but then one of the guys pissed me off. He made me empty my pockets, and he was going to steal my rock. My most prized possession.
Fuck that.
I went ninja on his ass, and on everyone in his little gang.
Everyone except one guy who I just couldn't seem to shake. He pulled out a gun and started shooting. The cashier, the other customers, me.
Ouch.
In my dreams I almost never have to run away from anything or anyone. Usually I can stand my ground and fight my way clear. But not this time. Not against this guy.
I ran.
Somehow I managed to escape. I either lost the guy or he gave up on chasing me. I collapsed in an alley and began surveying my wounds. I'd been shot several times, and I was bleeding badly.
I needed help.
I heard footsteps coming down the sidewalk.
It was her.
She looked right at me, lying there bleeding to death. Then she turned away and kept walking. She was talking into her phone, with some asshole, no doubt.
Of all the times to get shot, I'd picked a time when she was going to pretend that she didn't give a shit about me.
I managed to get to my feet, and started hobbling back the way I'd came. I found the guy with the gun, and I stood perfectly still for him while he shot me through the head.
I woke up before I hit the ground.
Hey Dave,
I was just wondering, when did you start keeping track of the number of ounces of each type of beer you drink?
posted by: Eddy Molteni | June 4, 2010 11:02 PM
It was three or four years ago. I'm not really sure. What I did was, I went back through my old blog entries, and I made some estimates and calculations for the years before I started the blog, to come up with initial numbers. Since then I've been able to track it accurately.
posted by: dave | June 4, 2010 11:24 PM
Dude, that is a LOT of beer!! How many years does it span?
posted by: Eddy Molteni | June 9, 2010 8:53 AM
I'm 45, so the span is about 30 years I guess. The vast majority of the ounces have been since I started hanging out at Rich O's in 2003.
posted by: dave | June 9, 2010 7:55 PM
So, if my math is correct, and I take into account that most, but not all happened in the last 7 years, that's a bit more than 3 beers a night, every night, for seven years. Again, dude, that is a LOT of beer. Wow.
posted by: Eddy Molteni | June 30, 2010 3:25 PM
Some days more, some days less, some days none. I didn't bother to calculate an average.
posted by: dave | July 3, 2010 5:00 PM
You might want to check this out:
http://www.aa.org
posted by: Eddy Molteni | July 6, 2010 11:03 AM
You might want to not be so judgemental.
posted by: dave | July 6, 2010 11:12 AM
I never said you were an alcoholic. That would be judgemental. I said you MIGHT want to check it out. Of course, you might not, and clearly you don't. Only you would really know if you have a problem.
Hey, you're the one posting your alcohol consumption online, don't be so surprised (and defensive).
posted by: Eddy Molteni | July 6, 2010 12:10 PM
That's a pretty touchy subject for me. The truth is, both of my parents were alcoholics, and they're both dead. The other truth is, nobody watches their intake more than I do. Luckily, I'm a lightweight who hates to get sick, so I'm self-regulating.
posted by: dave | July 6, 2010 11:26 PM
The TRUTH is, you consume a LOT of alcohol. RECORDING your intake isn't the same as WATCHING your intake. No disrespect, but by definition YOU ARE NO LIGHTWEIGHT. Don't believe us? Bring your recorded totals to any registered dietitian you care to. Then bring it to another. Bring it to a physician and ask him or her if you're a lightweight. Heck, bring it to anyone but the carefully selected enablers you allow to post on this site. DUDE, You're a lush. Ironically, this was the randomly generated blog entry I saw:
Trying to reason with me is the worst thing you can do. Because I already know all that shit.
Look, it's a free country. Drink all you want. Delude yourself if it makes you happy. Oh wait...
posted by: RichNo | July 7, 2010 10:13 AM
I myself have found out the hard way that there is a difference between self-regulating and self-medicating. I have been told that Denial is not a river in Egypt.
posted by: Eddy Molteni | July 7, 2010 12:30 PM
The cool thing about this being my site is that I can now drop this matter.
posted by: dave | July 7, 2010 12:47 PM