I went out way to early last night.

Because I'd gone to the liquor store to spend my product promotion allowance I ended up at Rich O's at around 8:00 PM.

It wasn't very crowded, but it seemed that all of the people there were (a) annoying, and (b) likely to be glued to their seats all night.

I ended up standing for the whole time I was there.

The first beer I had was a Kiuchi Hitachino New Year's Celebration Eisbock. I've decided that "eisbock" must be some foreign word for "tastes like shit" because this is the third or fourth variation I've had over the past several months and I haven't cared for a single one. Rotten molasses is how I wil describe it, though I don't really know what rotten molasses tastes like.

Next I tried the second Gravity Head beer from the Fantome Brewery, the Fantôme d Été.

At least that's what I thought. It turns out that this may have actually been the Fantome Saison, and that I had the Fantôme d Été last weekend. They were switching things up to confuse me apparently.

At any rate, the Fantome Whatever I had last night was much more cider-like that the Fantome Whatchamacallit I had last weekend. This one was actually too applely for my taste.

By the time I'd spent an hour choking down the eisbock, and then another hour choking down the Fantome, I was ready to leave. All of the people at Rich O's were still there glued to their seats, and they were still annoying.

I got home just after 10:00 and went to sleep.

I had such high hopes for last night.

First off, both of the beers I'd been most looking forward to sampling were on tap at the same time. To make things even better LaptopGirl had reappeared a week earlier from wherever she'd been. Finally, I was just in a good mood - something that's been a little rare since I started my ill-executed painting project.

When I arrived at Rich O's the first beer I tried was Uerige "Secret" Sticke Altbier. I actually got the very last half-glass from the cask.

I should have left it in the cask. I didn't like it at all, and I don't think I can properly describe the displeasure I had while drinking it, so I won't try.

After that disaster, I had the other beer I'd really been looking forward to. The Rocky River Kohlminator Smoked Bock was a beer I'd been hoping would (a) help me to get over the loss of my beloved Cone Smoker, and (b) cost less than the Alaskan Smoked Porter I'd been getting my smoke fix from recently.

I didn't like this beer either. There wasn't very much smoke, and what there was was the "grapey" kind of smoke that I don't really care for. To make matters worse, there was no bitterness, only sweetness behind the smoke, and those two flavors clashed quite a bit.

Well so much for that. I went back to the bland, but safe, Community Dark for the rest of the evening.

I'd started out the night at the bar, from where I'd occasionally glance to the sitting area to see if a space near LaptopGirl had opened up. Eventually one did so I moved over and sat in the chair.

LaptopGirl was looking quite pretty, and beyond that she was in a much better mood than she'd been in when I'd last seen her. She was optimistic about her writing and was happily telling anyone who'd listen about the BIG director who was reading one of her screenplays.

After a while, for reasons I cannot fathom, CoffeeDude decided to start lecturing LaptopGirl on the realities of life, and of The Arts in particular. He kept telling her how hard it was to break into show business, and how she shouldn't be disappointed if this particular opportunity fell through.

I'm sure that CoffeeDude meant well, and he was certainly telling the truth, but I didn't think that LaptopGirl needed to hear it. Especially on this particular night. I asked him to ease up, and to let LaptopGirl enjoy her optimism. LaptopGirl herself asked him to be quiet several times.

Eventually whatever evil plan CoffeeDude had came to fruition. LaptopGirl fell into a funk even worse than I'd seen the previous weekend. Then she left. I tried to apologize on behalf of men everywhere (and especially CoffeeDude) but she never stopped moving as she walked out the door.

I'd started the night with fairly high expectations, and by the time I went home I'd had two beers that I didn't like at all, plus as an added bonus I'd got to see LaptopGirl cry and there was nothing I could do about it.

That'll teach me to be an optimist.

Okay, I understand that Matt may not be the best singer on the show, but he was one of the best last night. For him to be the one to get booted is just stupid.

But even more proof of peoples' stupidity is that he was joined in the bottom three by Camille and Diana while wastes of space like John and George and Jennifer remained safe.

Matt did leave with a lot of class though, and his singing to Simon was one of the funniest things I've seen.

Kimberly Locke's performance I liked a lot. I always knew she could sing. She just can't sing "heat wave" and will hopefully never try again.

Two things I want to point out right away. Simon, the "rude" judge, at least lets the other judges fully complete their comments. Randy and Paula, at the first hint of any negative criticism, immediately start booing with the crowd and arguing with Simon's assesments.

Second, the girl singing in the Coke commercial is possibly good enough to win this competition.

Okay, here we go. My scores for this week's performances:

Diana: I just love that song, and it was the perfect song for her. That last note was awesome. (80 points)

George: He sings well, but that voice! I guess it must sound different in person, because I cannot understand the judges' (especially Paula's) adoration of George's voice. (50 points)

Fantasia: I'd have to say that country is not her style. Even bad she sings pretty well though. She strikes me as someone that thinks she deserves to win, and the competition is simply a formality. If she doesn't win I expect her to call race discrimination. (60 points)

John: Sucks. Maybe he could sing jingles for a living. (20 points)

Camille: Tonight I tried an experiment. I imagined that the "nervousness" in Camille's voice was actually her unique style. Under that light she sounded pretty good. I hate hate hate her song choice, but Camille is the only one that made me look up at the TV during the recaps. (65 points)

Jennifer: When she starts using that artifically low voice of hers it makes me cringe. (30 points)

JPL: When he takes away the goofiness it turns out that he can't sing very well. (40 points)

Jasmine: Her voice seemed weak compared to the backup arrangement. Nice to know she's human though. Even on a bad night she's better than most. (70 points)

Matt: Wow, what a surprise. He did a hell of a good job with a pretty safe song. Unlike JPL, when Matt loses the theatrics he actually CAN sing. One of the best tonight. (80 points)

LaToya: There should be a law that black women cannot sing Garth Brooks songs. Despite the horrible song choice she was, however, technically flawless. (65 points)

Amy: Wow. She has the best voice in other genres. Now it turns out that she has the best country voice as well, plus she's the best country singer. I agree with Paula. She could release a country CD tomorrow and be a star. (85 points)

I really think it's time for John or JPL to go home, but unfortunately I think their fan bases are too large. I expect Jennifer to leave this week, and that's okay.

Do not freak out.

I am fine.

There is nothing wrong with me, and I have proof.

So the other night I was sitting at the bar at Rich O's talking with LaptopGirl. At one point during the night I leaned back from the bar and noticed that my left hand had fallen asleep.

This kind of thing happens to me all the time - especially on my left arm and hand since I screwed up that arm so badly years ago.

Usually the numb/tingling sensation goes away pretty quickly.

This time it didn't.

I woke up this morning still feeling numb in my left ring and pinkie fingers.

Once I got to work I noticed how difficult it had become to type anything. It's amazing how much those two fingers get used when typing.

I decided to call my regular doctor so he could make sure I hadn't caused any type of permanent injury to the nerves in my arm.

What happened next was my fault. I told my doctor's receptionist that I wanted to schedule an appointment for numb fingers. The receptionist asked if I was feeling any pain. Without thinking I mentioned that my left arm was hurting a little.

My left arm always hurts a little. It's done so for years.

But the receptionist didn't know that.

What she heard was "numbness" plus "arm pain" and she pretty much freaked out. She told me in no uncertain terms that I needed to get to the hospital NOW NOW NOW!

I could practically hear the gears in her head turning as she tried to decide whether to call life-flight for me.

So anyway, just to humor the poor thing, I went to the hospital.

After about four hours, most of which was spent waiting around either in the main lobby or in a little room they gave me, I was told to go home.

They had, just to satisfy their procedures, taken a blood test and did and EKG on me.

Everything came out fine.

I am not dying, at least not today.

It turns out that the type of nerve damage I've done to my arm can cause numbness that lasts for days or even weeks. It's not likely to get any worse as long as I'm careful about leaning on the nerve.

I was advised that if my fingers don't return to normal within a few days I should meet with my regular doctor so he can amputate my left arm.

Just kidding. Ha Ha.

I'm just supposed to check with my regular doctor so he can make sure that things are healing.

Last night Rich O's was actually pretty dead. Perhaps the novelty of their Gravity Head festival, now a couple of weeks old, has begun to wear off.

The first thing I noticed when I walked in was SuperHotYoungGirl sitting with her friends in the front area. She actually made eye-contact with me and I nearly professed my love and adoration for her right then and there.

Somehow I resisted that urge and went into Rich O's proper. Things in there did not look good. DisgustingMakeoutCouple had stationed themselves on the couch and were doing their best to make everyone in the room feel uncomfortable by sucking and groping at each other. Seriously, get a room.

Beyond that display, right in "my" spot, stood CreepyGuy. He gave me his customary grin/leer. The guy either wants to pound me in the ass or chop me up and feed me to his pet ferrets. Neither option sounds particularly appealing so I try to steer clear.

Luckily a spot opened up at the bar so I was able to grab a seat. I ordered a Community Dark and had the bartender put an Alaskan Smoked Porter on ice for later.

As I drank my beer I'd occasionally look around the room to see if SuperHotYoungGirl had entered Rich O's proper. She hadn't but at one point I saw someone even better. LaptopGirl had managed to sneak in and was sitting there reading a book.

It had been at least a month since LaptopGirl and I had seen each other, and I swear she seemed as glad to see me as I was to see her. She moved her stuff over to the bar so we could talk.

While I talked with LaptopGirl about things ranging from her artistic endeavors to the National Park Service I finished my Community Dark and had the bartender bring me the Smoked Porter I had put on ice earlier.

This was the 2002 vintage Alaskan Smoked Porter. I usually have the 2003, and according to the Rich O's beer experts there is supposed to be a substantial difference.

I couldn't really detect a difference. I liked the 2002 exactly as much as I like the 2003. That is to say I liked it a lot, and I wished I could drink more than one in a night.

While I'd originally planned to leave Rich O's fairly early since I had to work the next morning, the appearance of LaptopGirl changed all that. I ended up having a couple of NABC's Beaks Best pints while she sampled a couple of the Gravity Head beers.

At one point we also sampled a Fantome Saison that I really liked and LaptopGirl didn't seem to care for all that much. It had the apple taste that I've come to expect and enjoy from Belgians.

As Rich O's closed LaptopGirl made a couple of references to going over to a nearby bar. I somehow remembered that I had to work in the morning and told her so. I also managed to stop myself from babbling on about the invisibility factor and the fact that Jack's Tavern seems to be a catalyst for that phenomenon.

Today I went to Home Depot to check out flooring materials and left with a hundred dollars worth of paint and painting supplies.

I've had this bug up my butt for months about the walls in my house - specifically my hallway. The off-white color just seemed too bland.

A couple of years ago there was a wall where I worked that was painted a pretty cool watermelon color, and I'd always told myself that I should paint some wall in my house with that color.

Well I tried. The paint, which looked very cool on the little "Ruby Ring" sample card I chose has ended up looking very very very red on my walls.

I mean, it really looks like crap, and I don't think that's solely due to the fact that I need to put another coat on.

I'll put that second coat on tomorrow and cross my fingers.

Last night was supposed to be a change of pace. I'd been invited by a friend from work to go to a Louisville bar with the unlikely name "The Backdoor" to shoot some pool. I was also told that this bar had Newcastle on tap, so the trip seemed like it would be a worthwhile diversion from the Gravity Head crowding at Rich O's.

I found the place easily enough and I was happy to confirm that despite its name, The Backdoor is not one of "those" places. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Anyway, my friend wasn't there and I ordered a Newcastle and waited.

There was something wrong with the beer. Maybe it had been in the keg for years - The Backdoor didn't seem like the type of place to go through a lot of imports. Maybe the glass was just dirty. For whatever reason I couldn't even finish the glass. My friend never did show up so I left.

Rich O's wasn't nearly as crowded as I'd feared. Maybe everyone was off watching Louisville choke its way out of the NCAA tournament.

I had one of NABC's Solidarity Baltic porters. I remember having this before - about a year ago, and liking it, but I didn't remember much else about it.

What a scary beer! It tastes very good, with no bitternes at all, and just the right amount of carbonation. The scary part is that it's over 8% alcohol. I ended up having two of them then I had to switch to root beer to make sure I'd be able to find my truck, let alone drive home in it.

The only regulars I saw were Bubbles, who was looking all tropical, and CreepyGuy. CreepyGuy kept looking at me and grinning (leering?) so I kept as far from him as I could and made sure nobody followed me home.

Senility is really setting in.

While proofreading my 'blog entry about last Friday night (typos have a way of showing up hours or even days after I type them) I realized that I'd forgotten to mention the presence of SuperHotYoungGirl, there apparently for Gravity Head.

It took all of my will power to keep from simply staring at her for the entire night.

BWAAK! BWAAK! BWAAK! BWAAK!

That's the closest text approximation I can make of the sound that my smoke alarm makes when it wakes me up. It did so last night because my blower motor on my HVAC system seized up and started releasing large amounts of smoke into my ductwork.

Besides the fun of being jolted awake by that lovely noise, I also got to enjoy the unique smell of burning electrical parts.

Well my house didn't burn down. I hit the circuit breaker and tore the cover off my air handler to make sure that there was no actual fire, then cancelled Fire Dept visit that ADT had dispatched.

I sit here now, after a pretty cold night with no heat, waiting for the repair guys to show up and tell me how much it will cost to get my blower moter replaced.

In about fifteen years I also expect my heartrate to return to its normal pace.

Maybe by then Nugget will come out of hiding.