One night this guy and this girl were at a bar. When the girl left, she forgot her notebook. So the guy went running outside after her, calling her name.

When the girl heard the guy behind her calling her name, she stopped and turned around slowly. She seemed surprised to see that the guy still had his pants on.

The moral of this story is that sometimes you should take your pants off, if only because it's expected of you.

One day these two boys were playing around in an old shed. Then the sister of one of the boys came and locked them in the shed!

After about an hour, she finally let them out. When the boys went to tell on her, they found out that she'd told her dad that the boys had been using bad words. This was not fucking true, but the dad believed the girl and not the boys. So the boys got into trouble for cursing, and the girl probably got ice cream or something.

The moral of this story is that sometimes it's better to be a little girl than a little boy.

...there was this stupid dog named Fido. Really original name, I know.

Fido liked to eat dead animals.

But, besides being stupid, Fido was also lazy as fuck, so he never bothered to actually hunt and kill anything. Nope, he'd just look for something that was already dead. Like road-kill and other gross stuff.

Then he'd bring the rotted carcass up onto the porch and gnaw on it for a while, until this kid named Dave took it from him and threw it in the trash barrel.

The moral of this story is that random dead things are disgusting.

Took too long of a nap tonight. Might have slept all night except my phone Woo Hooed at me at about 11:30.

A message from LaptopGirl!

Woo Hoo!

Anyway, this morning I was in a bit of a pickle. As far as I knew, I had about 83 cents to my name, and I was nearly out of gas. So I had the brilliant idea to actually check my bank balance instead of just assuming that I was broke.

Almost $94 in there, on the day before payday. I've been eating dirt for the past week for nothing, it seems.

So I was able to gas up my truck and make it to work. Later, with my newfound wealth, I was able to go and observe AlliDay at The Pub. BikerGirl got her hair cut off and dyed slightly red. She looks hot. I told her that it was like I'd discovered that she had a hot twin sister.

I ended up having a pint and a half of Newcastle (8139), and a dude from work paid for it.

Then, after work, I went to Rich O's and had a Cone Smoker (2128). While I was there, Bubbles came in, and she'd messed with her hair as well. Went from blonde to completely black. A huge difference.

I was talking with NotHideousGirl's ex-husband, and this one chick I never saw before. The subject of hitting a deer on the road came up, and I mentioned that I'd met MixedSignalGirl when she'd hit a deer while driving in front of me. The chick I never saw before said that she'd hit a deer once, too. Turns out that the chick and MixedSignalGirl have the same name.

Weird.

Now, after my nap that ran on for way too long, I'm wide awake at 1:00 AM. I'm having a glass of Cone Smoker (2146) in lieu of anything with caffeine, so I hope I'll be able to grab some sleep in a couple of hours.

Well, I guess I'm not going to do the novel thing this year.

There are several reasons. I wrote most of them in an email the other day, in part saying...

I think that, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that the nanowrimo thing just wasn't for me. Not this year at least. I don't want to do anything half-assed, and that's pretty much what they tell you to do, with that whole Quantity Over Quality thing. It just rubs me the wrong way. Plus, there are some weirdoes in the group.

I just don't have the time. Not this month. I've got this Las Vegas trip staring me in the face, and all I can think about is that I'd have to write my entire 50,000-word novel by the 24th instead of by the 30th.

I still really like parts of the idea though. So I might just try to write myself a 50,000-word novel. It won't be done in a month, though. More like several months or even a year.

It seems like it might be fun, as long as a deadline isn't constantly bearing down on me.

I'm sitting at my computer, at this semi-late hour. I'm looking at my screen, and all of the miracles thereon. Ordered by date and time, they mark the timeline of my resurrection even as they cause my resurrection.

It's just so fucking surreal sometimes. All those times, I waited for miracles that never came. I finally stopped waiting. And now they're queuing up like baby ducks.

There's another miracle! In bold, for now. I'll click on it, and it will fade to gray. But that doesn't matter, because it's already burned its way into me.

Not much to report today, so I'll make this brief.

After work, I went to this Hitching Post bar, where my dad used to hang out. I was going to have a disgusting Falls City in his honor, but they didn't have any, so I had a disgusting Bud Light (336) instead. I drank it straight out of the can, like Dad would have done it.

After that, I went to Rich O's and had a yummy Cone Smoker (2108).

I couldn't afford a pizza, so this week's Pizza Night is postponed until Thursday.

I told you this would be brief.

I can't think of anything lengthy to write, so I guess I'll just list more random crap.

---

I go to Las Vegas two weeks from today. I'm practically dreading the trip, but I'm hopeful that this attitude will reverse itself - probably when I'm about to land and I can see The Strip out the plane's window.

---

Several week ago, RockGirl told me something that I didn't want to believe. I knew that she was telling me the truth, but I fought that truth for a long time. Now, that truth has come to pass, and I'm much happier for it.

---

I had a weird dream last night. I don't remember very much about it, but my friend Eric's wife Teri was in it, and she was some kind of secret agent on a mission to kill me. Luckily for me, she was pretty bad at her job, and we all had a good laugh about it later.

---

Yesterday I went to my nephew's grave for the first time since the funeral. They finally got his headstone delivered. It's very nice, for a headstone. I took a picture of it, but I'm not sure that it would be appropriate for this venue. What with it being depressing and all that. I much prefer, as everyone knows, to write entries about good stuff like boxes full of cute kittens.

---

Dina has redone Cory's room into a sort of sitting room. It's very relaxing, and quite a contrast from the teenaged boy's chaotic room it used to be. The walls are now painted a color that I can only describe as school bus yellow. I'd been led to believe that setting foot in that room would cause immediate blindness and/or skin cancer, but it's not bad at all. It really looks nice in there.

---

I've been talking to FirstGirl about maybe making a necklace or a pendant out of my rock. The whole thing was my idea, but it still makes me very nervous. I'm not sure that I'm a necklace kind of guy. I also don't want to do anything to damage my rock, so no drilling.

---

You know what's weird? The only dirty clothes in my house are the maroon scrubs I'm wearing right now. Last week, I did a million loads of laundry, and I've been keeping up with it ever since. Very strange, and my cats are beside themselves without the normally ubiquitous piles of clothes upon which to nap.

---

The other night NormalGirl and I were talking about some of the places I've lived. That discussion got Seattle stuck in my mind, and now I really want to go back there for a visit. Even though it's a long way away, I think I'll put it on my short list for next Spring's Easter trip. I'll have to stop smoking first though. I think that the new law in Washington allows people to shoot smokers on sight.

---

I'm pretty sure that I just did something stupid. I meant well, though.

---

I've been very tempted to delete my MySpace account. It no longer serves any purpose for me. I'll probably end up leaving it there, but ignoring it. We'll see, I guess.

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I've noticed lately that a couple of my friends are very bad influences on me. Just to be clear, I blame myself for any and all personality defects that arise when I'm around these people. I somehow remain hopeful that I will eventually learn to spot, and stop, these defects before they ruin any more nights for me.

---

Hey, it's 11:11 on 11/11 now. I think I'll stop writing for a while.

Have you ever noticed how cats, if they're caught doing something clumsy, quite often their first reaction is to lick their ass?

I wonder if that's supposed to distract us, possibly make us forget the clumsiness we've just witnessed, or if it's somehow intended to enhance our viewing experience.

---

I think I've figured out why things went so horribly awry. It wasn't my fault, and it wasn't directly her fault. This realization makes me feel a little better about the whole situation. It still sucks though.

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It makes me sad when pretty girls are sad. I know that I shouldn't care whether they're pretty or not, but I do.

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Last night I bought a half-gallon growler of NABC Cone Smoker. I plan to drink some of it tonight, but first I have to go to the store and get some food. I'm starving over here.

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Tomorrow is November 12th, so I plan to go to my dad's old hangout and have a Falls City in his honor. Except that I'm not sure they make Falls City anymore, so I might have to drink a toast to Dad with something else. He can, however, rest assured that it will be something equally horrible.

---

I've been in this giant gaping financial hole since August. Finally, this Thursday, I hope to be able to climb out of it. This will be thanks to my holiday bonus, which always comes in the middle of November.

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Tomorrow I start another week of being on-call for work. I am so not looking forward to it.

---

I guess that's it. I'm going to the store now. Maybe I'll drink a lot of beer and write some drivel later.

It was a pretty decent night, I suppose. Quite crowded, partly because of this big meeting the PBDs were having, and partly because there were a lot of strangers all over the place. But about half of the strangers were pretty women, so that made it bearable.

I arrived way earlier than normal, hoping to catch LaptopGirl, but I was too late for that. I grabbed a seat at the kiddie table and ordered a Cone Smoker (1994).

My night consisted of sitting at the kiddie table, enjoying my beers, and talking with StoreGirl and/or FirstGirl, as one or both of them would frequently come in and sit with me for a while. MusicalYuppieDude was at the bar, so I did talk to him every now and then.

Other than those people, and the main mass of PBDs who mostly stayed out front, I didn't recognize a single person in the place. Oh yeah, except for HopGirl. She came in and sat with some people in the red room. I went over and talked to her briefly. I think she did something to her hair, because she was looking disconcertingly pretty. Oh, and ArtGirl made a brief appearance before she moved out front. Ditto on the pretty thing.

I think that's about it. I ended up drinking a couple more Cone Smokers (2024), then I went and said goodbye to ArtGirl, and I came home at 11:00 or so.