Okay, fine. I'll write something. Don't particularly feel like it though. Plus it's mostly irrelevant. And boring. You've been warned.

---

Friday, I took a day of vacation, as I had a bunch of shit to do. I guess I did the mandatory things, such as re-register my cars and have lunch with NotHideousGirl. The car thing went much more smoothly than I'd expected because I found out that they've discontinued the emissions tests here. So that was cool. Lunch was fairly smooth as well, though there's still something wrong between us. Something that's not quite definable but still noticeable and disconcerting and irritating.

Anyway, at lunch I had a couple pints of Newcastle (7521) and then a Diet Coke while NotHideousGirl and I talked and pretended that nothing was wrong. Oh yeah, I also got to see BikerGirl for the first time in a couple of weeks. So that was nice.

While we were sitting at The Pub, my phone rang. Vibrated, actually, but whatever.

It was SassyGirl! Yay! But I sent her to voicemail because I didn't want the first time I'd seen NotHideousGirl in two weeks to be interrupted.

So, after lunch, I went and took care of some more shit, then I stopped at Rich O's. I ordered a Spezial (1712) and called to check my voicemail.

SassyGirl is in town! Yay and yay!

I called her and she said that they'd come to Rich O's and meet me. The "they" ended up being SassyGirl, JauntyGirl, and some European dude who I never saw before. So I gave SassyGirl a huge hug, and I gave JauntyGirl a medium-sized hug, and I shook EuropeanDude's hand. It was all quite touching and moving.

SassyGirl and I got to talking about some of the changes that had taken place at Rich O's since her last visit. The most noticeable being the new pint glasses with the NABC logo on them, and the sampler trays with their miniature NABC glasses. She hadn't seen the sampler trays, so I asked FutureDude to show us one.

I guess I wasn't clear enough, or FutureDude didn't hear well enough, but instead of just bring a tray for us to ooh and aww over, he bought a full sampler tray. Complete with six beer samples.

Oh well, right? Beer is beer. Couldn't let it go to waste.

I ended up drinking the samples of NABC's Croupier (8), Bob's 15B Porter (124), and Community Dark(224). And I didn't hate any of them. The Bob's especially seemed to have undergone yet another transformation since I'd had it last. It was quite good.

I ended up having another Spezial (1732) before SassyGirl and team left to go to some HickFest in my hometown. Then I came home and took a nap.

---

Friday night I was, not surprisingly, hung-over. It wasn't so much the quantity of beer I'd had earlier, it was the mixing of all those different styles. So I went to Rich O's and sat on the throne and had a few Diet Cokes. Once I felt better I had a Spezial (1752) and then a Paulaner (409).

There were people there and stuff, but I never really felt like talking to anyone, so I didn't.

---

On Saturday I went to The Pub to see BikerGirl. I had lunch and a Newcastle (7541) and then a BBC Jefferson's Reserve Bourbon Barrel Stout (521). I also bought the DVD set of Heroes season one, and I'm pretty excited about that.

---

Saturday night, Rich O's was about half full. That was the good news. The bad news was that the crowd that was there was about 90% weirdoes. Luckily, the island was unoccupied so I sat there. I had a Spezial (1772). After a while, the weirdoes ran TremensGirl off the sofa so she came and joined me. We talked a couple of minutes before WomanRepellant came in and joined us. Sure enough, TremensGirl moved back to the sofa at the first opportunity.

(I just left out a very relevant thing that I did.)

So I talked to WomanRepellant for a while and had another Spezial (1792). Once he'd gone, and once The Weirdo King had vacated the throne, I moved over there and sat. Mostly I just listened to TremensGirl and this one blonde girl talk about how they think various celebrities are smoking hot. How they managed to think about other hot celebrities with me sitting right there in their midst, I'll never know.

At some point I had another Spezial (1812) and then I switched to Diet Coke for the rest of the night.

After last-call, TremensGirl and the blonde girl and her boyfriend wanted to go over to this Jack's bar. I wasn't planning to go, but then about 10 seconds after they'd left MusicalYuppieDude came in and he also invited me over there. So I went. I had a couple more Diet Cokes and mostly just listened to everyone else talk.

The blonde girl guessed my age at 30. I gave her another guess, and she guessed 34. So I told her that I loved her, but really I just like her a a friend.

(I just left out several more incredibly relevant things that happened.)

Then I came home and ate some catfish tenders from Famous Dave's that I'd bought earlier and watched the unaired pilot of Heroes from my new DVD set.

---

I told you it was boring.

When I can't and/or won't bring myself to write about anything important, all that left is the unimportant stuff.

I did some things. I saw some people, drank some beer, ate some food, took a nap, saw some more people, and drank some more beer.

But it was all, just, irrelevant. Completely out of context with my life. Just tiny little inconsequential things, keeping the clock company as it ticks and ticks and ticks.

Meanwhile, I'm starting to get a little excited. I definitely need to stop that feeling. For excitement only leads to disappointment. Still, both of those things are at least relevant.

I'm in such a good mood. That's relevant, too.

Hot.

European.

Lesbians.

Every second. Every minute. Every hour and day and month and year. Every life. They happen exactly one time. You only get one shot.

We all know this. Awareness of this simple fact is always there, in our minds. At varying levels.

Sometimes this awareness lies buried below the mundane minutiae of living. Sometimes it's pushed aside as we play things safe. Sometimes, sometimes it's the most obvious and obnoxious thing in our lives, and it consumes our every thought and word and action.

There are so many things that I've missed. Opportunities that I've squandered. Chances that I've not taken. Feelings that I've denied. Hints that I've ignored.

Gone, forever. All of them. Time lost to its own passage.

Not again, I tell myself.

I'll take that chance, I promise myself.

We'll see, I suppose.

It's all coming together. Everything that I ever wanted and dreaded and wished for and needed and craved and feared - it's all going to happen. There will come a time when I'll have to either act, or not. Say something, or not. Do something, or not.

And that second, when I have to decide, when I'm once again given an opportunity to take that chance that I haven't taken, so many times, that second will pass quickly into the past with all its brethren.

That moment in time will happen once, and then it will be gone forever.

I wonder what I'll do, during that precious second.

I totally forgot to mention that I've booked my next trip to Las Vegas. After Thanksgiving I'll be there for a week, for the same conference I attend every year. It's always been at The Rio, but now they're moving it to The MGM Grand. This is probably a good thing, especially since The Tilted Kilt will surely be gone from The Rio by then, but it will still feel pretty weird. I think I'm actually feeling a little ambivalent about the whole trip.

I wonder if I should try to call StupidGirl. I guess I've got almost three months to decide.

---

I thought I'd have more to write, but I guess not. Except that women are strange. And everybody already knows that.

I suppose that the implications of this are slowly creeping their way into my head. This would explain my urge to run, hard and fast and far away. This would also explain my urge to sing and dance and shout with joy.

The thing is, I don't think I'm really allowed to be happy about this news. It's not a happy turn of events, for anyone except me, maybe. And, let's face it, I don't matter even a tiny bit. Especially as far as this is concerned.

The other thing is, I don't think I'm supposed to be sad about this either. I mean, a normal person would be selflessly and empathetically sad, but I never claimed to be normal. Especially as far as this is concerned. So if I'm sad then that sadness is a lie at some level. And I don't want to lie. Not about this. It's too important.

---

Like most people who've had their faith shaken, I often find myself looking for a miracle, to restore that faith. Unlike most people, however, I get my miracles. And I'm overjoyed, for a week or so. And I smile, for a month or two. But then, it fades. And then, I look for the next miracle. Because it's never enough.

The next miracle is coming. I know it's coming.

Maybe it will come tonight.

I hope so.

---

When it finally happens, I'll probably just do what I always do. Wait and see, bide my time, until it's too late. That's at least familiar to me, mundane even.

I would be a terrible poker player. I'd never raise, and I'd never fold my hand. I'd do nothing but call and call and call and call. And then eventually I'd go bust, and I'd be shocked and outraged at the horrible luck I'd encountered.

---

I'm not particularly afraid anymore. I'm not sure what the word to describe my state might be. It would be a word that meant I'm eternally grateful for what I have, even though I continue to want more. It would be a word that meant I'm not looking a gift horse in the mouth, because I fear it might bite me. It would be a word that meant I will take my medicine, even though it tastes like shit, because I know it will make me all better.

Such a word exists, I'm sure. But I can't think of it right now.

---

You ever wait for something for so long that the waiting becomes a part of who you are?

Well, I have.

And then, when the wait was finally over, you didn't quite feel like yourself anymore?

Well, I have.

---

It just struck me.

I've been using the word wait instead of the word wish.

That's pretty fucking relevant, right there.

Stupid though, because I know the difference between the two, and still I chose the former.

I wonder when I shifted from wishing to waiting. Probably in May. May was a great month.

---

I wonder how long I can hold my breath.

It was a quick after-work trip to Rich O's today. Mainly because Monday nights are my pizza nights. Plus, sometimes they have beer there. Or so I've heard.

I got there at 5:30 or so. I checked the beer board, and saw that Marzen was all gone. So that sucked. But there were still four smoked beers on tap, so I figured that I probably wouldn't die of thirst.

At first, I sat at the bar because a group of weirdoes was infesting the living room area. I tried to remember if I liked Spezial or Schlenkerla Weizen better, but I couldn't decide. So I attempted, for a third time, to have a glass of the new NABC smoked beer. This time I managed to swallow three times before killing myself seemed preferable to swallowing again.

I hate that I don't like that beer. I mean, I like rye beer, and I like smoked beer. But combine the two? No, thank you. It still sounds good on paper though.

What I ended up having was a Schlenkerla Urbock (67). A little stronger than the Marzen I'd been hoping for, but I figured that I needed something stronger to wash my mouth out after what I'd just tried. The Urbock was quite yummy, and it was just what I needed.

At about the time my beer arrived, TremensGirl and IForgetHisNameDude came in. The weirdoes were still in the living room area, so they sat at the kiddie table. Then the weirdoes all left, and I moved to the throne. TremensGirl and IForgetHisNameDude stayed at the kiddie table and talked. Probably about football.

After a half-hour or so, during which I ordered a pizza and finished my beer, I got up and went back to the bar to pay my tab. I'd been out of my seat for less than a second when TremensGirl and IForgetHisNameDude zoomed from the kiddie table to the loveseat. I don't think that the cushion on the throne had even had time to lose the impression left upon it by my ass.

Clearly, they were waiting for me to leave the area. Clearly, to them, I was a weirdo! And they'd avoided sitting with me just as I'd, not an hour earlier, avoided sitting with the weirdoes who'd been there when I came in.

So after I'd paid my tab and picked up my pizza, I threw a big turd in their fan. I went and sat down on the sofa and *gasp* started talking to them.

Oh, the horror!

Of course they denied that their sudden relocation had anything to do with me. But I knew better. I clearly and distinctly heard the sonic boom that they created when they moved from the kiddie table to the loveseat.

This is another reason that I am the way that I am.

I thought briefly about fucking with them some more, by staying and eating my pizza and ordering another beer and *gasp* talking to them some more. But I didn't because I'm pretty poor this week.

Then, when I got home, I saw that my pepperoni and sausage pizza was instead an artichoke pizza. So I didn't eat any of it, and now I'll probably starve to death. But at least I won't die of thirst.

Dammit!

There's a fucking corn maze less than a mile from my house!

And here I am, fresh out of friends to go to the corn maze with me.

I've never been to a corn maze. I bet it would be cool. And probably scary if we did it at night.

Waaaaaaah!

My weekend started out nicely enough, Friday after work, when HatGirl's dog bit me. And it was one of the nice dogs. Okay, I guess they're all nice dogs, but two of them are regular nice and the other is super-spazzoid nice to the point of being mean.

It was one of the regular nice dogs that bit me. Didn't break the skin though, it just bruised my palm.

Anyway, then I went home and took a nap. I didn't set my alarm because I wasn't really planning to go out. I just figured that if I woke up in time, I'd go out, and if not, I wouldn't. But I did wake up, and while I was getting dressed and stuff TremensGirl texted me to let me know that the requisite band of Friday weirdoes had just left Rich O's.

That was pretty good timing, I think.

I went to Rich O's and had a couple Schlenkerla Marzens (1249) and talked to TremensGirl and MusicalYuppieDude until they started kicking everyone out. Then I came home and sat on my swing and had another Marzen (1266) and drunk-emailed NotHideousGirl.

So that was Friday.

On Saturday, I spent an hour or so out working on my Monte Carlo. I'd bought a new power window switch for the driver's door (the thingy on the old one had snapped off) and so I took my door apart, put the new switch in, and put the door back together. Imagine my dismay when, upon testing the new switch, I found that it didn't work for shit. It wouldn't control the driver's window at all, and it would only open the passenger's window but not close it.

So that sucked.

What sucked even more was that, when I started taking my door back apart to, I dunno, check the electrical connection or something, the entire new switch assembly exploded into about a dozen pieces of deadly shrapnel.

I spent the bulk of my Saturday, after that, either shooting pool downstairs or watching the rest of my Lost season two DVDs. I was going to take a nap but, as usual, my cats started fighting so I couldn't sleep.

Then, at 6:30 or so, I went over to this O'Sheas place in Louisville to meet up with my sisters and their families. Later, we were all going to a tribute gig being put on by my nephew's friends. The O'Sheas part was just to have a couple beers and eat something.

I had a couple small classes of Newcastle (7439) and about three bites of some disgusting chicken tenders that were about 90% breading. Then, we all went over to this Tailgater's place to listen to Cory's friends play and sing. They're all really talented. At Tailgater's, I was very pleasantly surprised to see BBC Nut Brown Ale on tap, so I had three small glasses of that (100). It was yummy and malty, just like I remembered it.

Once I got bored, I came home and sat on my swing and had a Marzen (1283) and drunk-texted TremensGirl for a while. Oh yeah, I drunk-emailed StalkerGirl too.