After the Christmas thingy was over, I of course went to Rich O's.

It was pretty crowded, but I wasn't going to be sitting in Rich O's proper anyway. As soon as HatGirl arrived I'd be sitting out front with them. So even though this one dude offered to give me the throne, I just sat at the kiddie table and tried a new beer.

Hambleton Nightmare Porter

(draft) Almost black. Good head, good lacing. A very faint coffee and hop aroma. There was a slight bitterness to the flavor and the finish. Not worth my time. Just barely decent.

Bell's Hell Hath No Fury

(draft) Black, with a decent brown head. A sugary sweet aroma. Flavor was fairly intense, with spices and a slight hint of coffee. Pretty damn good.

While I was drinking that, HatGirl came in to make sure that I knew she'd arrived.

HatGirl!

Yay!

I went out front and sat with HatGirl and LuckyFucker and HatGirl's sister for several hours. I had another of the Bell's beers (20) and we all just relaxed. Because it was HatGirl's birthday, I must have sang Happy Birthday to her a dozen times, but I kept my voice down so everyone in the place wouldn't find out, start singing, and embarrass the shit out of her.

At one point HatGirl picked up her camera and recorded me singing to her. Hopefully I won't be seeing that on Inside Edition anytime soon.

Weird, I think I was more excited about her birthday than I ever am about my own.

For my next beer, I had a New Holland Dragon's Milk. I'd had this before, but I went ahead and updated my review.

New Holland Dragons Milk

(draft) Very smooth for so much alcohol. I really liked this, but I'd probably like it even more without the oaky undertones. Almost black with good head and lacing. There were subtle hints of vanilla and bourbon that were a very pleasant surprise.

I switched to Diet Coke for a while after that, but I ended up having a Spezial Rauchbier (1292) at the end of the night.

Once HatGirl and her posse left, I went back into Rich O's proper for a while and had another Diet Coke.

Then I went to Kroger to buy some shrimp. Then I went to White Castle. Then I came home.

Every year my sisters and I have our Christmas thingy early. This year we did it last night.

I always do pretty well with gifts. I think this is because my sisters know that they're the only ones getting me anything, so they take it seriously.

Let me see if I can list what I got without having to go look:

• Two old framed pictures - one of me and my mom, and the other of my Grandfather's old propane business.


• Five cans of various nuts.


• Some crystals to put in a fireplace to make the flames burn with pretty colors.


• A set of beer glasses from various microbreweries.


• A Bad Cats wall calendar. I'd actually bought it for Dina, and she'd bought me the desktop model of the same calendar, but we ended up trading.


• Bottles of Baltika 6, Delirium Tremens, Weihenstephaner, The Reverend, Erdinger, and Rogue Chocolate Stout beers.

So the first three hours were a waste of time. Some might argue that it's all a waste of time. Maybe they're right.

It was crowded as fuck. I stood at the end of the bar and had myself a Spezial Rauchbier (1282). Then a dude left from the bar so I grabbed that seat.

I watched pint after pint after pint of Rogue Chocolate Stout get poured, and I became fearful that it would be going away soon, so I had a pint of that next (1392).

At one point, this chick sitting on the sofa called out to me that some "redhead" had just come in looking for me. I have no idea who that might have been. Actually, that's wrong. When I'd first arrived, one half of TeamHotness had been sitting out front. So it might have been her, except that she's not really a redhead.

Once a seat opened up on the sofa I moved over there, but then I went to the restroom and when I came back Roger had stolen my seat. Nothing I could do about that - it is literally his bar.

So I fucking stood.

You know how 65 million years ago, that asteroid came and killed all the dinosaurs? Well, a few minutes after that happened, these people sitting on the loveseat and the throne paid for their drinks. They then sat for the next 65 million years, staring at their feet, while I stood and glared at them.

Once they finally left I moved to the throne and ordered a Pyramid Snow Cap Ale (60). I'd had this before, but I went ahead and updated my review anyway:

Pyramid Snow Cap Ale

(draft) Dark cola in color. decent head and lacing. Nice and smooth. More complex than the first few sips indicate. Spices and hops and nutmeg and molasses are what I think I detected. A good beer.

Before Roger stole my seat I got a phone call. The screen said BadPickleGirl. So I immediately assumed that someone had stolen BadPickleGirl's phone. I mean, that seemed much more likely than her actually calling me after a month would be, right?

But it wasn't a thief, it was really her. She just wanted some info about the Las Vegas airport.

So that was exciting.

Anyway, after my Pyramid was gone I had a Diet Coke. I was getting pretty bored and I was thinking about maybe considering going home but then my friend Eric and his wife Teri came in.

Yay!

So we sat and talked for an hour or so. They told me a story that helped to renew my faith in the court system, so that was good.

At 12:30 or so they started kicking everyone out so I came home.

...my true love gave to me,

Twelve adorable little hats,

Eleven DaveFest t-shirts,

Ten doses of Paxil,

Nine orthodontist appointments,

Eight ponytail holder thingies,

Seven trips to Vegas,

Six pints of Tremens,

*** Five pairs of jeans with sexy yet still modest holes in them ***

Four sleepless nights,

Three designated drivers,

Two cute pairs of glasses,

And a yummy pint of Guinness.

---

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO HATGIRL!

YAY!

Man, it was crowded last night.

At first, I sat on the throne. Some strangers were on the sofa. I suspected that they might be weirdoes, but I gave them the benefit of a doubt while I had a Rogue Chocolate Stout (1352). Plus, one of the people wasn't a stranger - it was HotEuchreGirl, and I was convinced that she was about to lose a button on her shirt. I didn't want to miss that when it happened.

For the next hour, at about five-minute intervals, more people kept showing up and joining the living room area people. It was quite ridiculous. Every time someone would walk through the door, the crowd of now-confirmed weirdoes would holler out greetings, and the new person would squeeze into the area.

Luckily, by the time I ordered another Rogue Chocloate Stout (1372), this one hot girl had left the bar so I moved up there and sat.

I talked with MusicalHippieDude for a while about various crap. He will be getting a new nickname, but not until after the holidays. I don't know who reads this thing. I also had some potato wedges with beer cheese. I just kind of vegged out.

At 9:30 or so I walked over to this Jack's place next door. Mainly I wanted to see if (a) HotEuchreGirl was there and (b) if that button had popped off yet. It had certainly been under a lot of strain when I'd seen her earlier. I've read that spider silk is the strongest substance in nature, but I don't believe it. I think it's the thread that was holding that fucking button on.

Well nobody I wanted to see was at Jack's, so I went back to Rich O's and had a beer that was new to me:

Harviestoun Old Engine Oil (10)

(draft) Black in color. Decent white head. Roasty cola aroma. Very well-balanced between coffee and chocolate. Pretty damn good.

At Mac's, I didn't see anyone I knew at first, but then I saw a familiar hand sticking up out of the crowd.

MisunderstoodGirl, waving at me!

Yay!

So we spent a few minutes talking about what she's been up to since I last saw her. There wasn't any need to talk about me because nothing ever changes with me.

I came home at around 11:00 and played some pool for a while.

...my true love gave to me,

Eleven DaveFest t-shirts,

Ten doses of Paxil,

Nine orthodontist appointments,

Eight ponytail holder thingies,

Seven trips to Vegas,

Six pints of Tremens,

*** Five pairs of jeans with sexy yet still modest holes in them ***

Four sleepless nights,

Three designated drivers,

Two cute pairs of glasses,

And a yummy pint of Guinness.

Tonight, I spent an inordinate amount of time thinking about doing something, doing something with someone who I have no business thinking such thoughts about.

It was wrong of me to think those things about that person.

It was wrong, but I don't care, right now.

It's my brain, after all.

And it was a lot of fun, thinking about doing those things with that person.

Also, there was certainly no disrespect intended. Even when I was thinking about that one certain thing that's illegal in many states.

...my true love gave to me,

Ten doses of Paxil,

Nine orthodontist appointments,

Eight ponytail holder thingies,

Seven trips to Vegas,

Six pints of Tremens,

*** Five pairs of jeans with sexy yet still modest holes in them ***

Four sleepless nights,

Three designated drivers,

Two cute pairs of glasses,

And a yummy pint of Guinness.

Something's been bothering me all day.

Not, as some people might suspect, not the fact that HatGirl called me "Dan" last night. That was surprising, but only until I realized that she'd had a whole inch and a half of beer. I actually consider myself lucky that she got the first two letters right. And that she didn't vomit on me.

What's bothering me is something that I can't really write about, except in a vague and generic and rhetorical sense.

Did you ever do something incredibly stupid? Maybe even something that seemed, deep down in your gut, like a bad idea, but you did it anyway? Something where, if you'd thought to actually ask, everyone you know would have told you how stupid you were about to be? But you didn't bother to ask, because you were being so stupid that you thought you already knew all the answers?

And then, days or weeks or months later, then did reality come crashing down upon you, making you realize how stupid you'd been? And did you then wonder why nobody had told you, before it was too late, how stupid you were about to be?

Did you ever wish that people would have just spoken up, that they wouldn't have waited for you to ask? That they'd locked you into a barrel and fed you through the bunghole until you came to your fucking senses?

Well I've done every one of those things. More than once. But right now I find myself on the other side.

That's what's bothering me. I want to help someone, convince someone to not do something stupid, but I haven't been asked for advice, and it's really none of my business anyway.

I kinda wish I had a barrel handy tough. Just in case.