I see, looking back, that it's been over a month and a half since I last reviewed a new beer. This is inexcusable, but the excuse that I'm going to use is that Schlenkerla Marzen has been readily available at Rich O's, and so I've been drinking a lot of that.

Well, tonight was a bust at Rich O's, in several ways, so now I find myself sitting at home almost stone-sober. This can not stand. So I've broken into my 'fridge and am now imbibing a new beer for me. I even took a picture of the thing.

Slaapmutske Triple Nightcap

Hazy dark yellow. Decent head that faded rather quickly. Much more yeasty aroma than others of this style, quite intriguing, though. Mouthfeel a little thin, but standard for the style. Flavor pretty much what the aroma had led me to believe. Apples and yeasts, and some spices in there as well. Pretty goddamn good. I will definitely have more of this.

Tonight was, like I said, a bust at Rich O's. There were several reasons for this. First, I had a glass of New Holland Dragon's Milk (104) in honor of HatGirl, who couldn't make it. I've liked the Dragon's Milk okay in the past, but tonight it just didn't sit well with me at all. It seemed a lot stronger than I remembered. I barely finished the 10-ounce pour.

Next, I tried to drink a Smithwick's, but I couldn't finish the glass (1724). It wasn't helping at all.

The other reason that tonight was a bust was that I, once again, managed to forget what's really important to me. I get so fucking selfish sometimes, I forget almost everything besides my own wants and my own needs. Like those things ever mattered in the least.

I forget that this is all real now, present-tense, and that my actions and my behaviour can have very real consequences.

I ended up coming home at 9:30 or so, and then managed to make matters worse by spending a good part of the next hour and a half flinging giant greasy turds into spinning fan blades.

I hope I can be forgiven. And, if not, then I hope I can forgive myself.

So I'm off work tomorrow, for at least the first half of the day, so I've got to decide what to do tonight.

I could go to Rich O's for a while, or I could stay home and work on some performance appraisal stuff for work.

Let's see, I'll flip a coin.

Heads I'll go to Rich O's, and tails I won't stay home and do performance appraisal stuff.

Here goes...

flip flip flip flip flip catch reveal

It's heads!

Looks like I'm going to Rich O's tonight.

My AlliDay lunch started out on a sour note for me, but it got better.

First, the Newcastle keg blew as AlliGirl was starting to pour it.

Slightly undaunted, I asked for a Breckenridge Vanilla Porter.

That keg blew as well.

I figured I'd go ahead and go for the trifecta, so I asked for a Young's Double Chocolate Stout.

Imagine my surprised relief when AlliGirl was able to pour me a full glass (500). It was very good.

Also, AlliGirl has agreed to help me test my video chat capability. I guess she's not afraid of seeing my dick, like everyone else. So, yay for AlliGirl! Way to be brave!

Now all I have to do is find my old webcam and microphone for her, then we should be able to video chat. Wait, maybe she'll need chat software as well.

Anyway, here's a picture I took today. It looked cooler in person.

I've been spending some time reading through some of my old blog entries. I do this sometimes. One of my random quote thingies will catch my eye and I'll go read the original entry. Then I'll start reading all the subsequent entries for a while.

Like, I just read the stuff from December 2006.

I was in a weird mood for almost that entire month.

I think that the last entry of the month was also my favorite.

I guess I've been fooling myself, pretending with so much effort that there for a little while I actually believed it. I actually believed that it might be different this time.

But the hour looms nearer. The alcohol in my body fogs my senses even as it magically makes things more clear. I can see the truth. I know what's about to happen.

The same thing that happened on the past two occurrences of this date.

This little annual ceremony of mine has been polluted and corrupted. It's not even close to what it once was. It used to be something I'd look forward to. Ring out the old, usher in the new. Crap like that. It was kind of fun.

And now, now it's nothing more than a séance. Intensified, surely, because of the date, but otherwise no different than any of the dozens that preceded it this year.

In less than an hour, it begins again.

I'll extend this invitation to the rest of you. Even though I don't know you, and you could all be perverts, I'll ask you anyway.

I've got a new computer with a new webcam and new chat software.

I want to see if I've got all this stuff set up correctly so I can do a video chat.

I've asked several people, and all have declined. I think it's because they're all afraid that I'm going to whip my dick out or something.

Well, I've already done enough damage to the internet, when I uttered the word fuck in all its cursed glory.

I have no desire to sully the internet any more by introducing nudity to its pristine purity.

So, I promise, there will be no whipping-out of my wee-wee. I just want to see if I can video chat.

Can somebody help?

Today I had an idea to start something the likes of which I haven't done in a while. A series of flash-fiction entries, similar to the old peril series from 2005.

This is as far as I got.

Twirling and dancing as thin ice groans and cracks under his feet. Not oblivious to the dangers, but spiteful of them.

(This is the stupid survey that I was going to answer one question at a time. I changed my mind because I got bored tonight.)

Are you anything like you were at this point last year?
Very similar. Maybe identical.

What's the 8th text in your inbox say?
HatGirl telling me she was going to the beach.

What are you wearing right now?
Same thing I always wear. A crotchless Imperial Stormtrooper costume. It's all I can really relax in.

What are you most looking forward to tomorrow?
Getting off work and taking a nap.

Have you ever been awake for 48 hours?
Don't think so. I think about 36 hours is my personal best.

Are you friends with any of your exes?
Some of them.

What are you listening to?
Nothing

Do you like your first name?
Sure.

Baseball or football?
Baseball been berry berry good to me.

Do you like the color gray?
Does gray really count as a color?

Are you jealous of anyone right now?
Perhaps envious would be a more suitable term. It seems less whiny.

Last time you ate grilled cheese?
I dunno, maybe about February.

Do you regret doing something today?
I overslept by about a half an hour. That always pisses me off.

When you think of the rainbow, what pops in your head?
Which rainbow is THE rainbow?

Have you lost contact with someone you wish you didn't?
Most of the people I've lost contact with, I wish I hadn't.

Do you think you're old?
I sat behind Jesus in second grade.

Are you afraid of the dark?
I like the dark. It's the stobors that lurk in the dark that frighten me.

Have you got a tan?
Stupid question. I'm kind of a dark peachy color.

What are you looking forward to in the next month?
Fourth of July weekend. I want to take a trip somewhere.

When is the last time you talked to number 1 on your top friends?
On myspace, the first friend listed is NotHideousGirl. I haven't seen her in a few weeks. On facebook, it's LaptopGirl, and I talked to her Saturday night.

What color is your hair?
Blonde.

Do you like pancakes?
Sure. I never have them, though.

Have you told anybody you loved them today?
Not out-loud.

Do you miss anyone?
Always.

Are you growing apart from someone close?
Yes, and it pisses me off.

Have you ever liked anyone on your top friends?
No, they all suck.

Do you have a facebook?
Yes.

Who do you trust with EVERYTHING?
I think Dina and RockGirl.

Are you living a lie?
Do lies of omission count?

Sometimes, do you wish you were someone else?
There's a dude I was reading about. His job is to brush the sand off the models during the Sports Illustrated swimsuit shoots. It would be cool to be that guy for a while.

Do you think anyone in general out there loves you?
I hold out hope.

What is one thing you miss about your past?
I miss hanging out with all my friends in Omaha and Seattle.

Can you see yourself ever being with someone you've been with before?
I suppose so, because it's happened before.

Do you talk a lot?
With one person I can't shut up. In a group I'm pretty quiet.

Can you play pool?
Better than you.

When was the last time you cried really hard?
A long time ago.

If you could change your eye color would you?
I'd like to have two differently-colored eyes. Just to see if anyone would notice.

Ever had a song written about you?
I seriously doubt it.

Ever kissed your number 10 on myspace?
My number 10 is my sister, you pervert.

Are you self conscious?
I am aware of, and I acknowledge my existence.

Last bed you slept in and with who?
My own bed with my cat Buddy.

Slept with someone you dont know in a bed?
Don't think so. Oh, wait there was the one time. I knew her pretty well by the time morning arrived, though.

Ever danced infront of the mirror?
No, I'm straight.

How many hours sleep did you get last night?
About four I think.

What do you currently hear right now?
Nothing but keys clacking.

What did you do today?
Worked. Went to Rich O's and got a pizza. Took a nap.

Would you ever forgive someone if they cheated on you?
I've done it before, and it was a waste of effort. I don't think I'd do it again.

Is there anyone you hate?
See the previous answer.

You like the color green?
Stupid question. Depends on what's green.

Last person who told you things were going to be okay?
Probably WeirdGirl. We had a bit of a scare a while back.

Does the number 19 have any significance to you?
What's with all the stupid questions?

Be honest, do you like people in general?
People, in general, suck big ones.

Who was the last person that left you a comment?
At barenada.com, it was somebody I don't know at all. At journalspace, it was this Tammy chick.

Its 4 in the morning, your phone rings who do you expect it to be?
Somebody with bad news.

What do you think your best friends doing right now?
Probably sleeping, if she has any sense.

How old do you think you will be when you finally have kids?
I haven't a clue.

Who was the last friend in your house?
WeirdGirl. Or maybe NotHideousGirl. I dunno, it's been a while.

Can a girl and a boy be besfriends with out having feelings for each other?
I think it will always be lopsided, in varying directions at varying times. The hope is that the friendship is strong enough to handle it.

Of course I could have just gone back to Dina's. And maybe I should have. It would have been the brotherly thing to do, if nothing else.

But see, the thing was, I hadn't seen LaptopGirl in a million bazillion asstillion years, and there was a chance that she might go to Rich O's. So, that's where I went.

I guess I got there a little before 9:00. It was pretty dead - kind of a typical Summer Saturday night. Fine with me. The throne was open, so I sat there and talked with PirateDude and a couple of his friends for a bit.

My first beer was an NABC Flat Tyre (969). This choice, as it turned out, was stupid.

After PirateDude and his friends left, I was alone in the living room. Just the way I like it. But then these two uberhot blonde girls showed up. That was nice of them.

MusicalYuppieDude came and joined us shortly afterwards. In fact, for the rest of the night there was a fairly constant stream of guys coming to sniff around at the uberhot blondes.

My next beer was a Weihenstephaner Hefeweissbier (2390). It was good, but at about the time I got it, I found out that Marzen was on tap.

D'oh!

So I spent the next hour or so just vegging out. I talked to the uberhot blondes for a bit, but my heart wasn't really in it.

I did have a Marzen (3816) for my next beer. OMG it was yummy. I let one of the uberhot blondes have a sip. I don't think she liked it, but VPs almost never like smoked beer.

At 11:00 or so, LaptopGirl showed up, and so of course I promptly forgot about the uberhot blonde girls. I think they were still there, though, because random guys kept sniffing around and the air became tainted with testosterone.

I talked to LaptopGirl for an hour or so.

Yay!

Some ugly old bitch plagiarized her shit. That sucked.

We supposedly split a Guinness, but I ended up drinking most of the thing in one gulp (1869). I was thirsty.

Then somebody suggested that we all go to Jack's. I wouldn't have bothered, but LaptopGirl wanted to go. So we went to Jack's, and LaptopGirl and I "split" a Miller High Life( 8).

Then LaptopGirl got bored, so I walked her back to her car, and we each went to our respective houses.

---

I used to do this thing where I'd migrate between rooms and beds throughout the night. I haven't done it in months, though. But last night I went to sleep in my master bedroom and woke up in my guest room It's kinda scary, that sleepwalking thing. I hope it's not going to become a regular habit again.

I don't know if this is going to be one entry or two or three. I'm not sure that it really matters what it's going to be, but it seems like it should matter. So I can pace myself properly, or something like that.

'Cause there were three Saturdays. And if I seem to skimp on any of them, somebody somewhere is going to think I'm a dick.

Well, I'm not a dick, just so you know. I only portray one from time to time. If I seem to skimp, it's only because my priorities are what they are.

Actually, maybe there were four Saturdays, but I'm not going to count the first one because it was just me sitting at home, glaring at the clock on my computer, waiting for the time when I could go see HatGirl.

---

I ended up leaving home an hour early. I was just too excited. So to kill some of that extra time, I went to this computer store, right next to Famous Dave's, and I bought some cooling fans for my computer.

So, that was pretty exciting.

Then I went into Famous Dave's and grabbed a table. I drank Diet Coke and I watched a boring soccer game (redundant, I know) and a couple of text messages from HatGirl came in.

HatGirl!

Yay!

She was going to be late.

Boo!

This was weird, because I'm pretty sure it was the first time in the history of the universe that any woman has ever been late for anything.

But she did eventually show up, and we got to have lunch and go shopping. It was a really nice time, and HatGirl is pretty and charming, even when she's as clearly stressed-out as she was. I could see it in her face, in her body language, and hear it in her voice. Poor HatGirl!

When I'm in charge of the universe, I will have a rule that HatGirl will feel no stress.

Next, I went to my sister Dina's house for her husband's birthday party. I think he's 308 now. Something like that. I don't ever seem to quite fit in with those huge crowds at Dina's. So I pretty much kept to myself. I talked to SpoonsGirl for a bit. I talked to BadPickleGirl for a bit. I talked to various other people, always for just a bit.

Oh, and I petted Dina's kitties. Two of them, anyway. The other one is scared of me.

So then, because I had to work at 6:00 this morning, I left Dina's at 6:30 or so and came home to try to take a nap.

That didn't work for shit. It was weird - I was completely exhausted until about two seconds after I laid down on my couch. After that, I was wide awake.

And now I think I'm going to split this into at least two entries.

This will get me into trouble.

The things I do write for you people.

Anyway.

I remember when I couldn't take a fucking piss without hitting a Mexican.

But tonight, when I really needed them, were they around?

Fuck, no.

Not a single Mexican to be seen.

Anywhere.