I got ready to leave at 6:00 last night. I didn't know where I might be going, but I wanted to be ready. For when she called. Just in case she'd changed her mind.

Well, at about 9:30 I got tired of doing nothing but glare at my phone, so I went to Rich O's.

It wasn't too packed there. A bunch of regulars were sitting in the living room area. Strangers were everywhere else. I sat at the kiddie table and had a Dark Horse Tres Blueberry Stout (100). This was supposed to have been a Saturnalia beer, but it had arrived quite late. It arrived quite late last year too.

Oh yeah, SpoonsGirl and SirTalksALot were sitting in the red room. I talked to them briefly when I first arrived.

Anyway.

Once a spot opened up on the sofa I moved over there.

It was boring, and when my phone finally vibrated at me I welcomed the diversion.

I went outside to talk to MixedSignalGirl. It was not a fun conversation, but it needed to happen. After all, moving on is what I've been trying to do for months. It's only reasonable for her to want to do the same thing. So, no more lunch dates. No more semi-planned meetings. Only happy accidents will be allowed from now on.

Speaking of moving on, I left Rich O's at 10:30 or so and went over to Hard Rock. I'd met a girl there yesterday, and she'd said that she might be there with her friends later. Well she wasn't there, but that's okay. I'm taking her to the 1950s tonight. At least that's the plan. I'm kinda being a pessimist.

I overslept this morning. I was supposed to be in Louisville at 10:00 to watch EllaGirl and 1000 other weirdoes jump into the Ohio River for some Special Olympics thing. But it's 9:54 as I type this sentence, so I don't think I'm going to make it. I'll go see EllaGirl at work in a couple of hours and see if she's still alive and, if so, what shade of blue she is.

This used to be a standalone page, but I'm making it a blog entry now because (a) I'm bored and (b) It'll be easier for people to make trip suggestions.

This is just a map showing the states I've been to. States in blue are places I've lived, states shown in red are places I've been to, and states in gray are places I've yet to visit. Of course the goal is to eliminate all of the gray states. Indiana is in white both because I was born there and because it's where I currently live.

The rules I use here are pretty simple. To count as a visit I have to not be at the airport. Driving through a state without stopping doesn't count either. To count as a residence I have to have moved out of my previous residence.

• The furthest West I've ever been: Anchorage, Alaska (149.9 W)


• The furthest North I've ever been: Palmer, Alaska (61.6 N)


• The furthest East in the United States: Portland, Maine (70.26 W)


• The furthest South in the United States: Orlando, Florida (28.5 N)

Look at the map above. The gray states are those that I'd be most interested in visiting, but I'll consider just about anyplace.

Just keep in mind that I'm talking about three or four days at the most here, so someplace like Honolulu probably wouldn't be a good choice. Most of the West coast will also have to wait for a longer vacation. I don't want to waste two days flying there and back. Long drives are a better option though because I enjoy the driving.

My priorities in selecting a destination, in no particular order:

• Places I haven't been before (either cities or states)


• People I know are there (no unattractive stalkers please)


• Availability of good beer (such as brewpubs or bars with good regional selections)


• Beautiful scenery (mountains and oceans and shit)


• Other tourist attractions (historical and museums and the like)


• Professional baseball games (this affects WHEN I could visit)

RIght after I got my new Blackberry I took this picture of the stuff adorning my desk. Many of these are things that I've posted here before.

From top to bottom, then left to right:

My cat Buddy after he got shaved.

An image I made of three of me on my couch.

BadPickleGirl and me and BadPickleGirl's cousin at Rich O's.

My sister Dina's kids.

MisunderstoodGirl wearing a shirt that says I agree with Dave.

A picture of HatGirl that I really like.

A whirlpool that RockGirl drew. I think of it as my department's unofficial logo.

A little saying I got from somewhere. People who stay calm all the time just don't have all the facts.

A picture I took at the Grand Canyon in August 2006.

Another Grand Canyon picture.

Me and SassyGirl at DaveFest last Summer. This picture also hangs on the wall at Rich O's.

A picture of HatGirl's ear. This picture doesn't taste very good.

And now, that picture I took of NotHideousGirl yesterday is up there too, just below the HatGirl picture.

I had fun today.

First, I overslept. So that was cool.

Then at lunch - Newcastle (3334) - I ran into NotHideousGirl. First time I've seen her since HatGirl's birthday party in December. So that was way cool.

Then we went to Borders so she could buy some CDs. This was about as useful as taking a blind man to the paint store, but I went anyway.

Oh yeah, I got a new Blackberry yesterday, and guess what.

It's got a camera!

Yay!

First time I've had a camera phone in months.

NotHideousGirl was kind enough to let me test the camera on her, and post the results here.

So that was fun. It was a little strange to leave a bookstore without any books though.

Then, after work, I went to the local hardware store to buy a bunch of PVC shit for my sink. I figured that I'd go ahead and give it a try, and then if I screwed it up Kenny could always come and laugh at me as he corrected my mistakes.

Well, I managed to twist the PVC stuff around enough so that now I have actual drains running from my sink. I also managed to install and wire up the new garbage disposal without killing myself.

Anyway, here's the old ugly sink.

And here's the new sink. Ta da!

Just so none of you people start to think I'm infallible, here's what's under the new sink.

Those bowls are because the new drain lines leak. Not very much, but enough to be annoying. So I called Kenny and apparently I need some Plumber's Putty to put between the sink and the traps. Either Kenny or I will get some of that, we'll tear everything apart and reinstall using the putty where appropriate, and then this project will be done!

Except that I think I need Kenny to use one of those snake thingies on the drain line that goes into the wall. Everything still drains pretty slowly.

And the garbage disposal works too! Nugget is scared of it.

We used to talk about stuff like this, back when we used to talk.

But that period, that honest and open period, it didn't last very long. I think it was too much for her. Too close to the intimacy that she was missing from the rest of her life.

I've been trying to remember the last time I spent more than two minutes alone with her. I bet it's been at least a year.

So we don't talk about anything important anymore. Shit, we don't hardly talk at all.

If we did talk, I wonder how she'd react if I told her she was stupid. I mean, would she take it in the nicest possible way, as it would certainly be intended?

I doubt it. I think she'd get all defensive. And she'd try to justify herself to me.

That old saying just jumped into my head. There but for the grace of God go I.

Well first of all God can fucking suck my dick.

Second of all, I would be doing exactly what she's doing, if only I'd had the chance.

I'd have been stupid, just like she's being stupid. I'd have given all of myself and there'd have been nothing left that I could call my own.

I'm so fucking grateful that I never had that chance.

I wrote once before, that the fucking Beatles may have been right all along. I fucking hate the fucking Beatles. I hate that they were right.

All you need is love.

Technically accurate, yet still so fucking lacking.

(Switching to metaphor-mode now. Try to keep up please.)

I remember when I was 7 or 8 years old, and we got our first color television. My sister Dina and I were so excited, because we were going to be able to watch Saturday morning cartoons in color. It was going to be The Coolest Thing In The World as my cousin Chris liked to say.

Well, it was. It was so much better than black and white that there was really no sense in comparing the two.

But the Beatles? The fucking Beatles would have said that black and white was all we needed to watch our cartoons.

Like I said, technically accurate.

But also woefully safe. Timid. Spineless. Half-hearted.

(Switching out of metaphor-mode.)

I see her. Even when I don't see her in person, I see her in my head. I see her in love with him. I can almost hear the gears in her head turn and grind as they churn out unending platitudes and reassurances. Love is all you need, her brain tells her heart. Don't you dare wish for anything more, because you've already got more than most people ever get.

Like I said, fucking stupid.

She could do so much better. But she thinks that she's got all she needs. And that may be true, but needs are only the beginning.

There should be a place in our lives, in her life, for desires.

I would be exactly where she is. I would tell myself that I was happy. I would tell myself that I had everything that I needed.

Technically accurate, but still so fucking sad.

I watch, as her heart's desires die. Corralled and quarantined and imprisoned by the illusion that all you need is all there is. They die from neglect.

There is so much more than needs. So fucking much more.

I wish I could still talk to her about stuff like this.

But I can't, so she'll have to read it here.

I always like the girls nights, at least until all the hot girls have been eliminated. This year there's an abundance of hot girls, so I was really looking forward to tonight.

Joining me on tonight's viewing journey was a yummy bottle of Gulden Draak (271).

Stephanie: Born 60 years too late. A fantastic performance which I fear will be marginalized simply because it came first. (85 points)

Amy: Cute as fuck. She sang a little flat, and she mumbled a lot of words. (65 points)

Leslie: Also quite cute. Stupid song. She went flatline several times. (65 points)

Sabrina: Damn, another cute girl. No wonder I like girls night so much. Anyway, a technically perfect performance, but her voice has no depth. I don't know if she'll be able to overcome that handicap. (75 points)

Antonella: Smoldering hot. Singing was all over the map. Mostly all wet. I feel bad for her because she seems very nice and sweet. (60 points)

Jordin: Drunken karaoke at first, but the second half of the performance was much much better. I took off 10 points because she spells her name wrong. (65 points)

Nicole: A lovely girl. She jumped around between nasally and artificially low and screaming. I couldn't understand a word she sang. (50 points)

Haley: Adorable. I love her rich voice. Her performance was severely limited by her stupid song choice. I hope she gets a chance to pick a better song. (75 points)

Melinda: One of my favorites form the earlier shows. Still one of my favorites. Second-best of the night, I thought. (90 points)

Alaina: Fuckalicious. Fantastic voice, which she chose not to showcase by picking a Stevie Nicks song. I hope she stays, because I adore her. I gave her 10 bonus points because she's carrying my child. (75 points)

Gina: Cute as fuck. My absolute favorite from the earlier shows, and my absolute favorite after tonight. Fantastic song choice, fantastic performance. (95 points)

LaKisha: She's weird. She looks like she's 50-years-old until she sings, then she drops 30 years. She sang a huge song, and it wasn't even close to being big enough for her voice. This girl can fucking sing. (85 points)

Okay, I'll admit it. I'm an American Idol watcher. I've been hooked, more or less, since the first season. When I realized that I loved Kelly Clarkson.

For the last couple of years I haven't been as big of a fan. I usually stop watching the guys after a couple of weeks. I'll keep watching the girls, but eventually my favorites get eliminated and I stop watching altogether. Until the next season.

Like this season. I'll watch it for a while, and I'll make entries like this one for a while. but it will all stop eventually.

So don't get hooked on my reviews. Please. That's too much pressure for me.

Anyway, tonight the guys sang. This is always boring to me, probably because I don't have a vagina. But I watched, and I wrote down my impressions. I had a yummy Koningshoeven Quad (346) while I watched.

Rudy: Sang a Six Flags version of a Six Flags song. I know this guy can sing, but he chose to coast through tonight. He's a lot better than this. (80 points)

Brandon: I fell asleep he was so boring. I'm giving him 50 points because it's my birthday.

Sundance: Stupid name, but probably not his fault. Great song. He seemed a little unsure about what to do with his arms. He sang great though. (85 points)

Paul: His tone was way too low for this arrangement. The volume of his voice was also too low. (70 points)

Chris R: Drunken karaoke. Awful. (40 points)

Nick: I really like this guy's voice. I thought he did a great job. (87 points)

Blake: Great song. Started out great. Finished great. This guy really surprised me. A lot. (90 points)

Sanjaya: I fell asleep, and I only woke up when he mangled a note. Horrible. (20 points)

Chris S: I expected to really like this guy, and I was a little disappointed. Put him in front of a club band, and he'll shine. As a solo artist, not so much. (75 points)

Jared: Nice job. Forgettable, but nice. (80 points)

A.J.: There seems to be a rule that anyone named A.J. or AJ that goes on this show must suck. I shot pool until this guy was done. He gets 50 points only because it's my birthday.

Phil: My favorite guy from the earlier shows. He started out like his nuts were in a vise. Then he spent the next part overcompensating. He finished quite strong though. (75 points)

The bank thing was because they lowered the daily limit from $1000 to $500.

"It's because of identity theft," they said.

"Maybe I need to find a new bank," I said.

Then I wrote out a check for enough cash to buy the sink and stuff.

Then I got a haircut. Then I got my new driver's license. Then I went to Lowe's.

Then I came home and took out the old sink, and did what I could with the new stuff. Which means that I attached the new faucet to the new sink, and I installed the new sink in the counter, and I hooked up the supply lines, and I put the drain thingies in the sink - including the one for the new disposal.

Now I'm waiting for Kenny to come here and (a) tell me what I did wrong, (b) fix the things I did wrong, (c) put all the drain lines in, and (d) do the wiring for the disposal.

I have no idea when I might expect him. I don't even know if it will be today. Until then I'll have to remember not to use that sink.

---

You ever just want to fucking strangle someone? Or knock some sense into them?

Yeah well me too. Metaphorically of course.

---

I'm starving. Nothing sounds good though.

---

It's really warm outside. My heat pump has actually shut off. First time in weeks that it's been this quiet in this house.

I was going to write a Monday beer report, but there's not much to write about, so I'll just cram that stuff at the beginning of this entry.

I had a half a Smithwick's (1454). I'd been planning to have a full pint but the keg blew when it was only halfway poured.

There were some people there. I didn't talk much. Mostly I just listened to everyone else.

Then I had two bottles of Delirium Tremens (858). Then I came home.

Ta da!

---

Today I've got a bunch of shit to do. So I'm taking a day of vacation.

I've got to go to my bank and try to find out why my card was denied twice over the weekend.

If the bank thing gets straightened out, I want to try the whole buy a kitchen sink thing again. Just maybe not at Lowe's. Depends on what the bank says.

I desperately need to get a haircut.

My driver's license expires at midnight, so I need to get a new one. First I have to find out where the BMV moved to. They're not over by Kelsey's anymore.

It seems like there's something that I'm forgetting.

Happy birthday to me!

Yay?