Friday, April 30, 2010
posted by dave at 7:52 PM in category pictures, quickies
Tonight, I not only miss you-know-who, I also miss you-know-who-else. So, it's been a fun night, so far.
Breckenridge Mighty Brown
(draft) Dark Brown. Smallish head that faded quickly. Slight aroma. Thin mouthfeel. Fairly sharp flavor of roasted malts. Decent.
Going to Rich O's. This is probably almost certainly stupid.
I'm drafting an escape plan. I always do this, though, yet I never escape.
Now I'm at Denny's. There are weirdoes here.
Finally doing my good deed for Thursday, even though it's Friday now. Then I'm going to Denny's as a reward.
I should get a job sitting outside at night and drinking and thinking. That would be nice.
Weird, I know
I missed the full moon by one night, but I'm trying to let my rock recharge anyway.
I found them! They were under a huge-ass spider in my garage. That must be why I didn't see them before.
Sitting out in my garage, thinking that I should probably write a blog entry.
That was a lot more fun than I had expected.
Well, it's official. Sometimes in the last year or so, someone has snuck into my house and stolen the extra adapters for my universal laptop power supply.
I live alone, so I really really hate it when I can't find something. Because there's nobody to blame but myself.
Looks like the universe wants me to stay here and suffer, for at least one more night.
Channeling Otis Redding
These Arms of Mine...
There, I feel better now. And I barely escaped getting peed on.
I'm excited about dinner plans!
I've lost my resolve. I've looked everywhere, even between the sofa cushions. I fear that it's gone for good.
...and at 'em!
If I were in Paris, these would actually be normal hours. But nooooooooo, I work these hours while stuck in the stupid EDT.
What was that all about?
Thinking about something silly, and it's making me smile.
Not fun
Reliving some very old, very bad memories.
Somebody's finally come up with a fucked-up situation that I've never had to deal with. At least, not all at the same time.
My cat is in a crabby mood. Probably because I keep fucking with him.
Hair of the Dog Adam
(bottle) Clear dark amber, with a decent beige head. Enticing aroma of malts and caramel. Medium mouthfeel. Flavor mild, with malts and dark fruits. A fairly strong alcohol burn is present all the way to the finish. Pretty damn good.
That was cool! Gross, but very cool!
So there
I'll have the soup
I like that joke.
The coast is clear.
I'm probably just being paranoid or something.
Something very weird just happened. I guess I'll just roll with it.
I miss my dad.
Just trying to give myself a fair chance of moving passed this. I will probably fail, but it won't be from lack of trying.
I'm showing restraint now. I like it when I do this. It makes me feel like I'm being strong.
This might not be what I'm supposed to be doing, but it's not a bad second choice. It seems to fit me.
Pondering the dubious merits of going to Jack's, even though OddlyFamiliarGirl won't be there tonight.
Supposedly, there's a new Sam's near my house. We're going to go check it out.
...same as the first
Except this time I want 87 eggs over-hard.
Some things are funny.
This should teach me to stop looking forward to stuff. It won't teach me, but it should.
I've never see the sky look as green as it looks right now.
I don't like them. In case I've never mentioned that before.
I'm really sad all of a sudden. I know why I'm sad, but I don't know why all of a sudden like this.
I'm excited to see HatGirl!
Is the reason that it keeps happening the same reason that I care that it's happening. I think so, but I don't like it.
Well, that was just about the most random thing ever. The weirdest, too.
Wondering how things got so bad, but then realizing that they were always bad and I just refused to notice. Dammit, so there, etc.
Gumballhead is on tap. Oh well, too late now.
Today I'm the interrupting cow.
I'm at Rich O's now. My 2:00 interview lasted until 3:30. It was almost like working.
Ain't technology neat?
Had a nice video call with HatGirl to start off my day.
I wish it was a little warmer.
Jamie Moyer is still pitching. Also, Jamie Moyer is still alive.
I can't tell if this girl is pretty, or if she just used to be pretty ten years ago. I should ask her.
Goose Island Winter Rye
(draft) Clear copper in color, with a huge white head. Aroma is mildly sharp, if that makes any sense. Creamy mouthfeel. Oh wow, this is really good. Spices mostly, but with rye undertones.
...for AlliDay!
Awesome Newcastle glass that I want to steal
Wishing a special little guy a very happy birthday!
Two seconds at a time. I'm not sure it's enough.
Man with a plan
I plan, eventually, to stop being such a pussy.
If I can sleep a normal schedule tonight, then I'm leaving tomorrow. To where, I don't know. For how long, I don't know.
Okay, fine. I'm awake and out of bed. Now what?
Nom nom nom nom...
I'm craving eggs, over hard. Five or six of them. And orange juice. And toast with grape jelly.
The worst thing wrong about her is also the best thing right about her.
If there's no point to any of this, does that mean that it's all rounded and blunt?
The Spankers are playing in Madison in May. That would have been a nice date.
I can't seem to get out of stage one today. This really sucks.
For some reason...
...I'm going to Rich O's now.
All the better to see you with
I wish they'd hurry up and invent bionic eyes.
I had a phone interview today at 1:00, but we got our wires crossed and it'll have to be rescheduled. Meanwhile, I stayed home instead of going over to see BikerGirl for lunch. I haven't seen her in a trillion years. Grrrr.
Watching Peggy Sue Got Married. Better than glaring at my phone.
Now that was a very nice nap. Great dreams, too!
I think I saw her car at Kroger's. That's the last thing I need - ongoing proof of her existence.
This place is full of loud weirdoes today.
I hate Mondays. Sundays, too, but especially Mondays.
There's a huge difference between being supportive and being a dishrag.
I have to pee now.
Yay for me!
Four for four, baby! Woo-hoo!
I've somehow managed to fubar my toe. Oh yeah, and I'm still awake.
She said it would be 20 minutes before she even took my order. Past experience tells me that it takes them an hour to cook anything. So, fuck that place, I'll go someplace else.
Going to eat at Don Pablo's, then to meet OddlyFamiliarGirl at Jack's for our usual Sunday date.
That's what my brain is today. Working on some fairly complicated scripts, and I might even have to dig out the manual. I hate it when I have to do that.
Waaaaaah the planes promote war! Waaaaaah the fireworks simulate bombs! Waaaaaaaah the exhaust from the traffic is killing the planet! Waaaaaaaah the evil corporations are sponsoring it! Waaaaaaah the ashes hurt the fish! Waaaaaaaah the noise scares my dogs! Waaaaaaaah the poor horses have to *gasp* run in the Derby! Waaaaaaaah my pussy hurts!
I remembered to buy cat food. I believe that my life would have been in jeopardy if I'd come home without cat food.
It would have been awesome, though.
I figured out why my email and phone/text blocks weren't working! And I can fix them! So there!
Great Divide Claymore Scotch Ale
(draft) Very dark ruby, with a nice tan head. Aroma mostly of malts, with some sweet chocolate and caramel in there. Mouthfeel thicker than I was expecting. Flavor pretty good, but tastes more like a malty porter than a Scotch ale to me. Very good, though.
Sitting at Sportstime, missing YouKnowWho. This is pretty much the opposite of being at Thunder with HatGirl, but maybe we'll still go there later.
Just bought my lottery ticket. My doggie reward is in the bag!
Thunder plans fell through.
The world is safe from me tonight.
HatGirl is here!
I fucking hate pickles!
Today, my good deed was to go and find HatGirl's doggie for her. Then, I got my hairs cut. Now, I'm at Rich O's.
One nice thing about sleeping half the day away is that now it's only six more hours until I get to see HatGirl.
I'm really annoyed that I'm bothered by this.
Well, my plans for tonight changed, but I got to be useful to a person who's very important for me. Now, maybe I can still watch some meteors.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
posted by dave at 1:56 PM in category pictures

Get that thing out of my face

posted by dave at 5:38 AM in category ramblings

I don't believe in them. I don't. I can't.

If you believe in one, then you have to believe in the other.

For every child that's born, another is taken in a senseless accident. For every lottery winner, a loving father contracts cancer. For every likeness of Jesus on a piece of toast or in the bark of a tree, an old woman slips and falls in her tub, and dies alone.

Fuck that.

There is no purpose. No divine intervention.

There are no miracles.

But, I wait for one. What form it might take, I don't know.

It will have to be a real doozy.

I wait, because that's all I can do. Hope is beyond me, has been beyond me for a long time, but I can wait.

Just in case. I want to be ready.

Monday, April 26, 2010
posted by dave at 4:24 PM in category daily

When I was in the shower, some chick left me a voicemail.

"Ellen, it's me. Call me at work when you get this."

Should I call her and tell her that she dialed the wrong number?

Does it matter that she sounded cute?

(UPDATE: I texted her that she'd dialed the wrong number earlier.)

Sunday, April 18, 2010
posted by dave at 4:12 AM in category movies

At first, I had a typo that said proof that I'm alice. Rest assured, though, I'm not Alice. I'm Dave.

And now, it's time for me to go to bed.

Saturday, April 17, 2010
posted by dave at 3:42 AM in category ramblings

It's a very weird feeling. And more than a little unsettling.

I spent all that time wondering what it would take. And now, now that it really finally seems to have happened, my mind has gone idle and stagnant without that all-encompassing question that had replaced the earlier all-encompassing question that had replaced the even earlier all-encompassing question.

There is another, lurking in the shadows of my mind, waiting to take the stage, but it might not ever have its chance.

Because what's a question with an answer?

Not much, that's what.

Q: What am I supposed to do now?

A: Nothing. There's no point.

Friday, April 16, 2010
posted by dave at 4:43 AM in category ramblings

Wow, it's late. Or early. I'm not even sure what to call it. I guess it's late because I haven't slept, but it's early because the Sun will rise soon. It's about perspective, I guess.


I knew this was going to happen. There was zero doubt in my mind. I was going to be told a lie, and I was going to believe it, and then the truth was going to crush me all over again.

What sucks extra hard is that this time, I think, I invited the lie.


It's not like I'm perfect, though. Far from it, actually.

I'm living not just one, but two lies right now. Both are lies of omission, but as I've said before, lies of omission are still lies. One is wonderful and selfless, and the other is horrible and selfless, but they're still lies.

I hate liars. So it really sucks that I'm one myself.

How do you say that which needs to be said, knowing that it will destroy?

I don't know. I just don't know. My brilliant plan is to die before I ever confess.

And the other truth? The one that would absolutely fall upon deaf ears?

Why bother?

Because it needs to be said?

Who says so?


Who the fuck am I?

Thursday, April 15, 2010
posted by dave at 9:13 PM in category daily

Tonight, I won't be in my garage. Nope, I'll be on my roof.

I'll be watching the Gamma Virginids meteor shower. This is a minor shower, and it's one that I normally ignore, but last night there was a huge fireball. I didn't get to see it - I guess it was visible way North of here - but maybe tonight there'll be another one.

That would be cool, I think. I've seen small fireballs before, but never one as huge as the one last night.

posted by dave at 7:17 PM in category pictures, quickies
I didn't want to be mean, and I didn't want to be nice. Both would have been very, very bad. So I did what I could. I left. Finally.
I'm starting to freak out!
Got my tax extension filed. Now off to meet with SassyGirl!
The night glows...
...from the dying embers of a million dreams.
Having this stupid little daydream. It's fun, as long as I remember that it's stupid.
I've now seen my first lightning bug of the year. Yay!
If anyone needs us, we'll be in my garage. Maybe forever.
Home now. Excited about my big date with Baltika later!
I'm at Rich O's. I don't know why. HatGirl isn't coming, I don't think.
I switched my A/C on before I went to bed, but I forgot to adjust the thermostat. Now it's 65 degrees in here.
I probably won't sleep, but I've got to try.
Still awake. No relief in sight.
So, someone texted me that she'd "got the rapth." I don't know what that means, but it sounds bad. I hope it's not contagious.
I don't know if you read this or not, but if you do, PLEASE MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!!! How many times do I have to ask this of you?
Missing someone does not always equate to wanting to see them. Not always.
Stop staring at me, you weirdo!
Shame on me
Feeling guilty...
Well, it's official now...
Now I'm home. I wish that I wasn't.
I wish things were different. Just for one night. It could be awesome. So there.
I've realized that I have something to look forward to, in 17 years.
She is here!
Craving Delirium Tremens, so I guess that means it's back to Rich O's for me.
There was a light at the end of the tunnel, but I can't see it anymore. Did it go out, or is it night outside?
I'm trying a Strawberry-Kiwi V8 Splash. It's really gross.
I actually had some crap to write tonight. But then I got really really really tired, so I'm going to go to sleep instead.
If I go, I'm going to be soooooo tempted to just stay there.
It's amazing how stupid I can be sometimes.
Croisez vos doigts
Je pourrais aller a Paris!
Rattle rattle rattle...
I don't have any idea what to say, or I'd almost certainly say something.
Nitey nite!
Just wake me up when this bullshit is over.
I had a really nice dream earlier this morning. I'm hoping for another one tonight, though I realize that nice dreams are quite rare lately.
The problem is, without trust, there can be nothing else.
Did my good deed for that day. Now sitting at Rich O's waiting for karma to reward me.
Hoping that whatever HatGirl has goes away soon, and that she didn't give it to me.
Managed a whopping 15 minutes of sleep before I had to get up to meet HatGirl. Now I have a few hours, so I'll try to sleep again.
C'mon... something crazy and impulsive.
Let's go somewhere. I'm thinking Key West. It would be fun.
I shouldn't be up. I have to meet HatGirl in less than seven hours. I should be asleep. But, I'm not. I'm up. Still.
Now my fingers are all sticky, and it's not from anything fun either. Okay, maybe it was a little fun.
I wish it was warmer.
I have a huge blister on my finger, and it's not even from doing anything fun.
...his mother. Dammit.
...a little kid.
Pushing my luck
Come on, seven!
I'm excited about tomorrow, and hoping that it doesn't go horribly wrong somehow.
Not having any fun. Nope, not having any fun at all.
Do me a favor, don't ruin my dreams tonight like you did last night. Thanks.
C'mon already
This is the slowest line of storms ever!
I miss you too.
I never ever thought we'd end up like this. I always thought things would get better, not worse. This really sucks.
Now I'm keeping my distance, so to speak, so we won't be accused of something that we're not fucking guilty of anyway.
That is all.
That's the answer. Now, ask the right question...
Left Hand St. Vrain
(draft) Clear yellow. Head faded quickly. Aroma typical for the style with a little mustiness. Mild flavor of apples, with a hint of alcohol burn at the finish. Does not taste like it's 9% ABV. Decent.
Going to Rich O's to meet up with SassyGirl!
There, I feel better now.
Just waiting for my day to officially start.
I can't even remember when I last slept. I guess that means that I'm way overdue. Goodnight, cruel world...
To-do list
Think for a second. Be honest with yourself for a second. Be subjective about yourself for a second. Open your eyes for a second.
Giving up. Going home.
Beffie and Dustin and some other people at Rich O's
I'm being stupid right now, as evidenced by the fact that I'm still here.
Dammit dammit dammit dammit dammit dammit so there!
Some faker has a car identical to HatGirl's. I was excited to see her, but a little miffed that she hadn't let me know she was here. Now I'm back to nothing.
At Rich O's, counting my blessings. Got to two and now I'm stuck.
That was fun.
Forced myself to get up at 9:30, after only four hours of sleep. Now, if I can avoid taking a nap today (doubtful) then maybe I can go to bed at a normal time tonight.
The neighborhood dogs and I are barking at each other. I bet there are ten of us, within a half mile or so of each other.
I went inside for a bit. Now I'm back in my garage. It's so nice out. I seem to want to be sad tonight, but I can't quite manage it.
It's blustery, like it could storm any minute, but there's hardly a cloud in the sky.
Well, the forecasted storms never showed up, but I'm still having a nice night in my garage. Time to open the growler, I think.
I miss her so much.
Garry Shandling just bummed a smoke from me.
Now I'm at Rich O's. Weird, huh?
I've been thinking a lot about this, and I can only think of one solution. I don't like it, though.
I think it just became ridiculous...
Sitting in my garage, glaring at my phone out of habit. It's still really warm out here. I love it!
Fighting the urge...
That chick that looks like that one bitch is here again tonight. It's still not her, though.
I think I might get into baseball again this year. It used to be a lot of fun, being a fan. And it's not like I've got anything better to do.
I've got to leave my stupid house and see if there's anyplace open. I'm starving to death. I guess I'll check stupid Jack's, too, but they're probably closed. Maybe stupid Sluttopia is open, but I think they were closed last year. I suppose I should just check stupid Bearno's first, because they're so close to my stupid house. I wish I didn't have to eat, so I didn't have to go anywhere. Stupid stomach...
I feel like having some social interaction. I wonder if every place in the world is closed.
I dreamed this morning that it was snowing like crazy. I'm so glad it was just a dream.
We're watching a baseball movie marathon.
It seems like it'll be a good night to be depressed. Yeah, that should be fun.
I'm not letting the rain get me down. I still get to see HatGirl in a couple of hours, we'll just have to eat indoors.
I got to be useful to someone I really care about tonight. That was nice, because I was feeling pretty useless before that.
There's one sight that I definitely will never get used to.
Climb every mountain
Going to Rich O's for a couple of hours. I might even put on clothes first.
I got eleven hours of sleep, so I think I'm finally caught up.
When, exactly, is this supposed to start getting easier?
It's so nice outside. I'm sitting in my garage, drinking a Cone Smoker and watching for stobors. I wish I had some more beer, but I'm out after this glass.
I'm sad about the end of my fake marriage.
In my defense...
Nobody is allowed to be mad at me for this. If you got fooled by something this outrageous on April 1st, then it's your fault.
April Fools!
All good things must, as they say, come to an end. StupidGirl and I had a lot of fun with this, but now it's time to go back to reality. Boring old reality.
Landed 20 minutes early! Excited!
Internet on the plane. Expensive, but it's working very well. What a world we live in.
No turning back now, even if I wanted to. Which I don't.
I can't sleep. I don't want to sleep. I just want to go, right now.
posted by dave at 2:00 AM in category entertainment

I have other shit to write about than this. No, really, I do. It's all rattling around in my head. All the time. It's quite distracting, actually.

But it's almost all mean stuff, or at least critical stuff. And I don't want to write anything like that. Not right now. Maybe never. I'm trying to be a good person, here. Get over it.


I didn't watch the show last week. I gather there was some drama with a "save" and some people were happy and some people were pissed. I don't know. Like I said, I didn't watch it.

Anyway again.

This week was Elvis songs. So, for me, this week promised to suck. There, I said it. I'm not an Elvis fan. Get over it.

Crystal: She somehow managed to find an Elvis song I'd never heard before. Boring. Minus 10 points for the guitar, and minus 805 points for the fucking backup singers. (-780 points)

Andrew: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. It was a bad Elvis impersonation. He changed it up, but he needed to change it more. A lot more. (50 points)

Tim: Nice song. He did a good job of making it sound current and unlike an Elvis cover. I took off 10 points for the guitar. (65 points)

Lee: WTF is up with all the damn guitars? I thought this was supposed to be a singing competition. I took off 10 for the guitar, but Lee did a really good job with a well-known song. (75 points)

Aaron: A high school musical version of an Elvis classic. I wanted to beat him up and stuff him into a locker. (20 points)

Siobhan or however she spells it: Smoking hot, and a great song. The performance seemed a little night-clubby to me, until the end, when it was great. I gave 25 bonus points for being so hot, then I took 15 of those points away for the damn nose ring. I think she should stop singing and move into the porn industry. (68 points)

Mike: Not even close to my favorite song. This guy is an amazing singer, though. I took off 10 points for the damn guitar, and 5 points for the stupid song choice. Other than those two things, I found no problems whatsoever. (85 points)

Katie: Another song I never heard before. The singing was good. The voice very forgettable. The horn section was waaaaaaaaaaay too loud. (60 points)

Casey: Zzzzzzzzzzzz. I don't care. I really don't. (50 points)

Tuesday, April 6, 2010
posted by dave at 4:11 AM in category ramblings

People change. They can change and sometimes they do change.

I'm living proof of this. HatGirl is another example.

And this wouldn't even be that much of a change. Just a stripping of some bullshit veneer.

It could happen.

Great, now I have stupid hope again.

Sunday, April 4, 2010
posted by dave at 10:44 AM in category daily

For years, I'd thought about doing something here for April Fools Day.

Disclaimer: I don't know if it's supposed to be April Fools Day or April Fools' Day or April Fool's Day. A google search reveals all three variants. I'm just going to use the first choice because it's easier.

Anyway, I'd wanted to do a hoax or a prank for a long time. The problem was that, every year, I wouldn't remember that I wanted to do something until around 10:00 PM on April 1st. And by then it was pretty much too late. Well, this year, I remembered around noon on March 31st, so this year, it was on.

It took me a while to decided exactly what to do, though. I wanted it to be something at least halfway believable - something that, if it happened any other day, would solicit some surprise and maybe some shock, but not too much disbelief. I also wanted it to be something good or at least neutral. Like, I didn't want to announce to the world that I had some terminal disease, or that I was moving to Alaska. Those things might have upset some people.

Full disclosure: I actually did consider the Alaska story for quite a while. But I decided against it because there are a couple of people who might have been upset at the thought of me moving so far away.

I told my sisters to ignore anything I posted on April 1st, and then later I told HatGirl the same thing. I felt that HatGirl would make a good co-conspirator, no matter what I ended up choosing for my hoax.

It wasn't until I got home Wednesday night that I decided what I'd be doing. Actually, it was StupidGirl's idea. I'd propose to her, then fly to Las Vegas Thursday morning and we'd get married. Because of her involvement, the entire hoax moved to where it was mostly on facebook, and only on as overspray. StupidGirl played along fantastically. She added her own posts to facebook to complement my own. She even found a copy of a Nevada wedding certificate that I could Photoshop and post.

HatGirl added to the hoax as well, by posting how excited she was for us. And then several others unwittingly joined in the fun by believing that it was all real.

It was the perfect choice. It was something that people could actually imagine me doing. Hell, it was something that I could imagine me doing. We had so much fun with it that StupidGirl and I were both actually sad when our fake marriage ended.

I'm already trying to think of something to do for next year. So far, I've got nothing, but there's still plenty of time. It's been suggested that I should come out of the closet on April 1st, 2011, but I would never do that for fear of all the cries of "I knew it all along!"

posted by dave at 12:19 AM in category ramblings

Metaphors, similes, analogies. I use them all the time, when I feel like writing here. Part of me just likes to use them. They make me think I'm being a better writer. But another part of me realizes the truth.

I hide behind these constructs. I hide behind them because to do otherwise, like maybe to tell the fucking truth, would be too much.

Too much for me, I mean. You readers are a hardy bunch. And a very patient one.

It was so much easier for me to write about a gorilla, than it was to write that I was in love. It was so much easier to write about a line that we carried with us, than it was to write about how incredibly difficult it was for me to be so close but so far, all the damn time.

It's so much easier for me, right now, to write about this burned bridge, about how the rubble stretches away in front of me, than it is to write that, that, that...

That what?

That the love of my life is no longer the love of my life? That the last six years of my life was for nothing? That the only chance that I have of my life ever seeming worth living is if I never see her or hear from her again? That this is a decision that I've had to make, and a realization that I've had to have, because I've been the only one in a position to do either?

That I was wrong about her. About us?

Fuck that. The light of truth is too bright, sometimes.

That damn bridge. It was shaken and twisted and rocked and rolled, and it got weaker and weaker and weaker and weaker. But it was still there. It fucking stood for something. Something important. Hope, I suppose.

But the final piece of the final beam finally broke, and the entire damn thing collapsed.

And I stand here in shock. I just can't believe that's it's gone. That beautiful destination will forever be unreachable, and maybe, just maybe, it's turned out to be not so beautiful after all.

I'm in a weird mood tonight.

Thursday, April 1, 2010
posted by dave at 2:14 AM in category comics


mysterious gray box mysterious blue box mysterious red box mysterious green box mysterious gold box

search main 'blog





Search word(s)
   help me!

blog favorites

the convenience of grief
merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
nothing personal
the one
dream sweet dreams for me
the willow bends and so do i
on bloodied ground
lack of inertia
thinning the herd
or maybe not
here's looking at you
what i miss
who wants to play?
feverish thoughts
the devil inside?
my cat ate my homework
don't say i didn't warn you
my god, it's full of stars
hold on a second, koko, i'm writing something
you know?
apples and oranges
happy new year
pissing on the inside
remembering dad

Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.