I wish we were still friends.

I'd mail her a t-shirt.

She would like it.

If we were still friends.

The DaveFest T-Shirts will be available tomorrow!

Yay!

Please buy one. Here's what's on the front:

And then on the back is a list of all the DaveFest beers.

Because these are arriving almost a week later than was originally planned, I'm not expecting them to sell nearly as well as I'd hoped.

Again, please buy one. I'm selling them at cost (rounded up to the nearest dollar) and for Internet orders I'll pay shipping.

So, small, medium, large, and extra-large are going for $10.00. Size XXL is $11.00, and size XXXL is $12.00.

Fuck, I'll even sign the thing if you want.

For every shirt that doesn't get sold, I figure that will equal one day that I'll have to eat dirt to help make up for what I'm spending on these things.

I don't like to eat dirt, so please buy a shirt.

There, I even wrote you a poem.

Slept from 8:30 'til 5:30. I don't think I missed anything.

I guess I'm going to Chicago for a day or two in July. Some email archiving thingy. No baseball during that trip unless I stay an extra night. I probably won't make that decision for a while. First I have to decide if I'm going to drive or fly up there.

Man I'm bored.

This has been discussed, and approved.

From now on, SassyGirl's girlfriend TacoBell will be referred to in this journal as JauntyGirl.

That is all.

There used to be a lot more lightning bugs.

What I was a kid, there'd be hundreds, thousands of them. They filled my front yard like the stars filled the sky. My sister and I would go out into the yard on the warm Summer nights and it seemed that all we had to do was wave our jars around to catch as many as we wanted. And, if we missed one, there were plenty more for us to chase.

There used to be so many of the things.

I wonder where they all went.

Life provides its own metaphors.

Saturday night was much more subdued than Friday had been, but that was only on the outside. In my own head it seemed much more frantic.

I'll blame this on the fact that I was completely exhausted. I got up too early, then I spent the afternoon at my sister's delayed wedding reception. After I made a quiet exit from there I had a fitful nap before going to Rich O's a little after 8:00.

The place was pretty full. A slew of strangers had taken over the red room, and the rest of the place was full of PBDs.

I ordered a frenchy beer (250) and sat on the loveseat for a while and talked to the PBDs, but I was feeling pretty claustrophobic so I ended up moving to the end of the bar where I stood for most of an hour.

WomanRepellant came in and sat at the kiddie table, so I went over and joined him at about the same time that I ordered a Bell's Kalamazoo Stout (430). In all of my excitement over the impending arrival of (and my disappointment over the delay of) Rogue Chocolate Stout I'd completely forgotten that the Bell's was a DaveFest selection that was already available. It was quite good.

At one point ElPresidente relinquished the throne so I moved there. WomanRepellant and I spent a lot of time just bullshitting, mostly about ExoticGirl and how pretty she was.

HatGirl had told me on Friday night that she'd be in on Saturday, but it was after 10:00 and I was starting to figure that she wasn't going to be in after all. This put me in a bad mood but, to be honest, my mood hadn't been that great to begin with. My third beer was a yummy Newcastle (2020).

At 10:45 or so I finished my Newcastle and had decided to leave. No HatGirl and no Rogue Chocolate Stout makes Dave something something.

Or something like that.

Just to be safe, I shot HatGirl a text message along the lines of, "Are you coming?" or something equally brilliant.

No pun intended, really.

About 3.4 seconds after I sent the text message, HatGirl and LuckyFucker walked in.

I bet you think that you know what's coming next, don't you?

Well, you're right:

HatGirl!

Yay!

My mood instantly better, I ordered another Newcastle (2040).

There was much shuffling of seats while HatGirl and I talked about website stuff. At one point the seat shuffling found LuckyFucker and HatGirl and I all crammed into the loveseat. That is certainly a memory that will stay with me for a long time.

To be honest, I don't remember much else. I know that HatGirl and LuckyFucker left after a while, and that I talked some more with WomanRepellant and ElPresidente and FirstLady.

No White Castle last night. I was too fucking tired.

Wanting to do something, that doesn't make me a bad person.

Having to use every bit of restraint that I have left in me to keep from doing something, that doesn't make me a bad person either.

Nope, what makes me a bad person is that I will not allow myself to learn from this. Just as I've not allowed myself to learn from any of the dozen or so almost identical episodes.

What makes me a bad person is that I will not allow myself to simply be that which I claim to be. I have to be someone else. Someone tempted yet restrained.

Some kind of fucking martyr to my own desires.

Poor, poor me.

(continued)

Night two will begin shortly, after my jeans finish dewrinkling in the dryer.

I've decided that trying to describe, in order, everything that was said and done last night would be (a) hard, and (b) inaccurate, so I'm just going to list the highlights that I can think of and leave it at that.

My fourth beer was a yummy Newcastle (2000) and I'll once again take this opportunity to thank Roger for this treat.

Beer number five was a Delirium Tremens (503). This was the only strong beer I had all night.

My sixth beer was another frenchy one (230).

Remember, most of these beers were only 10-ounce pours. I paced myself very well.

Throughout the night, I had the opportunity to talk to several people on topics ranging from (a) who the fuck am I and why am I so special? to (b) does this mean that I'm buying all the beer?

EwokGirl's posse made me feel very special by hooting and hollering every time I walked past them going to or from the bathroom. Their chants of, "We're not worthy" really warmed my heart.

Shortly after Dina and Kenny left the clothing started coming off. I'm afraid that most of the remaining pictures (stored in SassyGirl's camera) will not be suitable for public viewing. One, in particular, was taken of me when one of my friends was molesting me. It will be interesting to see what she remembers.

Once the clothing went back on, HatGirl and LuckyFucker came in.

HatGirl!

Yay!

SassyGirl tells me that I've got to stop doing that whenever I write about HatGirl. Problem is, if I stop now then everyone will wonder if I'm angry or something. So I'll keep doing it.

At one point most of the girls went over to drink shots at Jack's. I stayed and talked with WomanRepellant for a while.

We ended up closing the place down.

I went to White Castle then came home.

(continued)

The first two arrivals besides myself were TallLady and UplandWheatDude. I sat in the throne and talked with them for a bit until the floodgates opened up and people started flocking to the area. Before too long, the scene looked like this:

Let's see, going from left to right: My sister Neisha's hand, UplandWheatDude, My lovely self, MisunderstoodGirl, my sister Dina, Dina's husband Kenny, DooRagGirl, SassyGirl, and TacoBell. Just off-camera to the left was GlassesGirl, and off-camera elsewhere were MusicalHippyDude, TallLady, HornDog, and Neisha's husband Chris.

Notably absent when this picture was taken were HatGirl and LuckyFucker. They didn't show up until later.

Oh yeah, and EwokGirl and her posse were all out sitting in the loser section:

My sisters and their husbands all feel left out because they don't have fancy nicknames. I've been giving this some thought, and so maybe they'll get some before too long. We'll see.

The biggest surprise of the night, for me, was definitely the appearance of MisunderstoodGirl, who has been absent from my life for over six months now. I was so excited to see her that I leaped out of my chair and pretty much threw myself at her.

Let's see, my second beer was a Goose Island Honkers Ale (94). It seemed a little flat to me.

A grand time was had by all I think. One of the reasons that Roger chose me for this honor is that my beer tastes aren't too extreme. So everyone was able to find something that they liked. Even Neisha.

My third beer was a Weihehstephaner Hefeweissbier (1001).

I'm having a tough time figuring out what to write here. I guess I'll think about it some more. I've got to go to Dina's wedding reception now anyway.

(to be continued)