Last night, the Daytonians invaded Rich O's.

They do this every year I guess for Gravity Head. This year, Roger sat aside the new front room for their use. Whether to give them special treatment, or to keep them away from the rest of us, I don't know. Whatever the reasoning, it seemed to be an idea that fell flat on its face.

The Daytonians crowded into Rich's proper and did what they do best - stand around and talk as loudly as they can.

Hell, the two or three times I went and looked into the new front area it was mostly just local PBDs in there.

Anyway, the place was packed, but my new best friends in the world MusicalHippyDude and GlassesGirl had semi-saved me a seat at the island, so yay! I sat my ass down and ordered my first beer:

t Smisje Kerst (10)

(draft) Looked like coffee with cream, I guess because the keg had been jiggled. Flavor was pretty good. Lots of berries and fruits. A fairly strong alcohol bite at the finish.

I was hesitant to even rate this beer because it was so obviously not the same beer that I'd seen people drinking Friday night. But I asked GlassesGirl to take a sip and compare it to what she remembered from Friday. She said that it actually tasted better, so I went ahead and finished my glass and did the rating.

If anyone cares, my surprisaphobia was in full swing last night.

I pretty much just sat and drank and glared at the crowd and kept an eye on the entrance. I didn't feel like talking to anyone, and after a while talking would have been impossible over the noise from the crowd. My second beer was another new one for me:

Great Divide Hibernation Ale (10)

(draft) This beer was simply hard to drink. Part of the problem was that it really clashed with the beer I'd just finished, but most of the problem was that it tasted like cranberry juice. It did get better towards the end of the glass.

I think that beer put me into a bad mood. I'd really been looking forward to it, and I was disappointed.

My last beer was one that's always highly-touted, but it was new to me:

EKU 28 (10)

(draft) Had a strange flavor that I've never been able to accurately describe in this type of beer. Very thick, almost syrupy mouthfeel. The alcohol was quite evident.

Kind of strange, but a Dopplebock beat out two Belgian style beers and ended up being my favorite of the night. What's the world coming too?

The night ended up being a bit of a bust, so once I left Rich O's I had this idea of going and trying to find VigilanteGirl. I have no idea why. I didn't find her, and that urge is thankfully gone from me now. But while I was at the little bar near my house I had myself a Newcastle (1836), and it was quite yummy.

warm

soft

moist

soft

wet

slick

hot

soft

I managed to become annoyed a couple of times last night.

Shocking, isn't it?

The second time I became annoyed, I was annoyed with myself. I was having this conversation, and a strange sensation washed over me. It was like I was standing off to the side, listening to myself babble on and on and on and on and on...

It wasn't so much the babbling that annoyed me. I'm used to that. I'm doing it right now actually, albeit in written form.

Nope, it wasn't the babbling, it was the topic.

I have no idea what mental defect caused me to do it, but I found myself babbling at length about you know who and how much it had hurt when she'd left, and how much it still hurt, and how confusing the whole thing was, and blah blah blah blah blah.

My conversation partner at the time did a very good job of staying awake and feigning interest, I'll give her credit for that.

I guess, like most people, I just have a need to be understood. People chat with me a few times, or they talk with their friends and compare notes about me, and they get the wrong ideas. Ideas like I'm some great guy that's got all his shit together.

I hate that. Even though I'm flattered, I still hate it because it's just so wrong. I'd rather people know the truth about me. That way I don't have to worry about disappointing them later, when they finally see my true nature.

The first time I became annoyed was during another conversation.

Sometimes I feel like I'm the only person on Earth with any moral values at all. I mean, I know that's not really the case, but it sure feels that way sometimes.

Why is it that, for some people in my little circle of friends and acquaintances, why is it that the fact that a girl is involved in a relationship with someone else is dismissed as irrelevant? And even if that fact is recognized as a problem, it's seen as a very minor obstacle, an inconvenience, a bump in the road.

What the fuck is wrong with people?

Sometimes people see my refusal to pursue a girl with a boyfriend/husband as fear. They tell me that I'm just using it as an excuse to keep from being hurt.

Why can't people just accept the fact, the simple fact that I don't want to be the other guy in someone's life. I want to be the the guy. No sneaking around. No guilt. No getting murdered in my sleep once the boyfriend/husband finds out.

This guy told me last night that if I liked this one girl, and if I thought that there was a chance that she liked me, that I should just go for it. That I was getting too old to be so afraid. He gave me that old nothing ventured, nothing gained crap.

He completely dismissed the very relevant fact that the girl in question has a boyfriend. That fact didn't matter to him, and he couldn't understand why it mattered to me.

I think this is one of those things that, if I have to fucking explain it to someone, then they'll never understand anyway.

So why do I even bother trying to explain?

Because I don't really like being called a coward, that's why.

I wonder, if I hadn't been cheated on so many times in the past, would I still feel so strongly about this? Or would I be like my guy friends, trying to get into the pants of every woman I saw?

Is this moral rule I take so seriously really nothing more than yet another defense mechanism?

I don't think so. And even if it is, I don't care. It's still the right way to act, no matter what the underlying reasons are.

So last night was the beginning of the Gravity Head festival at Rich O's. This is the biggest, and oldest, and most crowded festival of the three that they have every year.

This year there'll be four because of DaveFest.

Anyway, I spent some time yesterday feeling a little bit torn as to whether I'd go or not. There were two things that helped sway my decision. First, They've got this new seating area out front and all of the PBDs were supposed to use that area, hopefully lessening the crowd for us civilians. Second, NABC was unveiling a new beer and I definitely wanted to try it before it ran out.

So I got there a little before 9:00. It was pretty crowded, but not as bad as I'd feared. SassyGirl was sitting on the throne, and UplandWheatDude was at the kiddie table, and SassyBoy was in the new loveseat. I took the other kiddie table seat and ordered my first beer.

New Albanian Thunderfoot (10)

(draft) As with all Imperial Stouts, this one took a few sips before my palate was numbed enough to appreciate it. A little more subdued than I was expecting, absolutely drinkable. The alcohol was masked very well.

For various reasons, whenever I talk to UplandWheatDude, the subject of LaptopGirl always comes up right away, and last night was no different. It didn't bother me though. I think he understands the situation better than most because he was witness to it in the beginning.

After a while, some assholes left the island so we moved up there.

Our conversation turned to a more recent subject. It was kind of funny I suppose. UplandWheatDude asked me what had ever happened between "that one girl" and me. I assumed he was asking about MixedSignalGirl, so I told him about her going back to her ex and how she'd just became tired of waiting for me to get over LaptopGirl and all that. At one point he said something about how young she was, and I said that she's 35. He freaked out and kept saying that he just couldn't believe she was that old - that he'd have guessed middle to late 20s for her age.

I had my second beer:

Dark Horse Sapient Trip Ale (10)

(draft) Absolutely nothing special about this beer except that it's an Abbey Tripel, so it's special by default. Very good, but not great.

After a few minutes a light bulb went off in my head, and I asked UplandWheatDude to describe who he thought we'd just been talking about.

He was talking about a completely different girl!

Duh.

So I had to update him on that situation, and that's an update that I'm not going to be typing up here for the world to see. Sorry.

My third beer was an NABC Bob's Old 15B (80). I hadn't had one of these in a long time. It was pretty watery after the two strong beers I'd just had.

We were joined, sort of, by GlassesGirl and HotRedHead. GlassesGirl wants a new nickname, because she doesn't wear glasses any more. If I think of a good one for her I'll use it, but for now it will remain unchanged.

My last beer was another Gravity Head offering:

Great Divide Oak Aged Yeti Imperial Stout (10)

(draft) I've never been a big fan of oak aged brews, but the oak undertones of this are subtle enough that they're hardly noticeable. Just enough chocolate and coffee flavor to almost mask the alcohol burn, but not quite. Pretty good.

At one point UplandWheatDude pulled a disappearing act. I stuck around and talked with the girls for a while. I had a Diet Coke and came home a little after midnight.

So, the night wasn't too bad. Much better than I'd been expecting. There were no big surprises. The crowd wasn't unbearable. I wish I could have talked to SassyGirl more.

Tonight is the night that the Daytonians invade. They've been given the new front area for the night, but I bet the whole place will be very crowded. We'll see.

This is a boring entry.

I've got nothing.

I know, I always say that. I always say that then I usually still manage to shit out an entry. An entry about something, which by definition is not nothing.

Anyway, I wonder if I'll ever look back at this time in my life with anything even remotely resembling fondness. I really can't imagine it happening. I can't imagine ever thinking you know, that was a pretty exciting and interesting time for me, or boy, I sure learned a lot about myself back then, or at least I wasn't bored, or even that was a really tough period of my life, but I came out of it as a better person than I went in as.

Speaking of this whole something vs. nothing debate - If the word complicated is used to describe it, that makes it a something, right?

Right?

I mean, if it was nothing then why bother to assign an adjective?

But I digress.

Offer me a pill that would erase the last two years of my life, and I'd take it in a heartbeat. Show me a time machine that would let me go back, back to before I went out that night, and I'd sell my soul for a chance to make that trip.

Alternatively, if given a chance to jump ahead, to skip forward in time to some imagined day when all of this bullshit is in my past and exists only in my memory instead of forming such an integral part of my consciousness - well, you just try stopping me from jumping at that opportunity.

Most people are going to read this, and they're going to shake their heads. Nat will probably want to kick my ass, again. Most people will read this and they'll figure that I'm being a little too dramatic, again.

Most people who read this just aren't going to understand.

But that's okay, because I'm right in the fucking middle of it, and I don't understand it either.

I am learning a lot about myself. I won't deny that. But some lessons are too hard-fought. Some prices are too steep. Some stones are better left unturned. Some monsters are better left lurking in the shadows.

Let me go back to before, and I'll go. Let me move ahead to after, and I'll go.

I'll go. Either would be better than this fucking now I find myself standing in.

Every season, for the past couple at least, I do this. Usually, after a few weeks, I get sick of the voters being so stupid and I stop watching. There'll never be another Kelly anyway.

Anyway, since I don't plan to sleep until probably Sunday, I went ahead and watched the Tuesday and Wednesday performances.

These are the notes I took while watching. I take these notes before listening to the judges comments. The scores I assign are completely arbitrary.

2/21 (Girls)

Mandisa: Stupid name. A blah, boring performance except when she missed notes, then she sucked. (60 points)

Kellie: Smoldering hot. She lost track of what key she was singing in a few times. I really like her voice though. (70 points)

Becky: Yummy. She mumbled her way through the song, and she seemed to use at least three different singing voices, and she missed some notes. I still liked her though, and I don't think it's only because she's so cute. (70 points)

Ayla: I thought she did a very good job, but I couldn't shake the Disney soundtrack vibe I got from her performance. (80 points)

Paris: She's just an adorable little thing, and a wonderful talent. She doesn't need this show. (95 points)

Stevie: Hot, and she knows it. She says the word opera too often. She seems a little full of herself. I like her voice - it's nice and pure. Pretty good. (75 points)

Brenna: Quite cute. I hate the song she sang, and her singing didn't make up for it. Not at all. She's funny and charming though. (60 points)

Heather: Quite hot. Weird, her voice doesn't match her appearance. Beyond that, nothing remarkable. (65 points)

Melissa: Wow, another hot girl. I love her speaking voice, and she carried that into her singing. She did mumble a lot though. I like her. (75 points)

Lisa: One of my favorites all along. She's another Tamyra Gray. Wow. (85 points)

Kinnik: Stupid name, stupid song choice, boring performance. (65 points)

Katharine: Hot. She looked like she was having a seizure while singing. She sang the shit out of the song though. (85 points)

If I were America, I'd eliminate Mandisa and Kinnik this week. Unfortunately for me, I'm not America, so I expect one or both of them to stay in while someone more deserving gets eliminated. Probably Heather and Ayla if I had to guess.

And, for the more important question - if all of the hot girls came to me and offered themselves to me sexually, and I had to pick just one, who would it be?

Kellie, without a doubt. She's marryin' material.

2/22 (Guys)

The guys are never as good as the girls on this show, and I don't think this season will prove me wrong.

Patrick: Great song. It's tough going first I bet. Good but not great performance. (70 points)

David: Cool name. A one-trick pony. This asshole will probably stay week after week while more talented singers get eliminated. I hate him already.

Bucky: Bucky? Are you fucking kidding me with that name? Great song, and he sang it very well. He's got a very unique voice. (80 points)

Will: Stupid song. This guy is probably good in his high school plays. (65 points)

Jose: The falsetto was a surprise, and not a particularly good one for me. This guy can do better than this. (70 points)

Chris: He looks familiar to me. He's one of my favorites. He sang a great song, and had a great but forgettable performance. He could go a long way in this competition. (85 points)

Kevin: The question with this guy is - Does he sing well enough to make up for being such a nerd? And the answer is no. A good song choice and a good performance. (75 points)

Gedeon: He spells his own name wrong, and he talks like a preacher. He sang well though. This was the first time I've liked him. (80 points)

Elliott: He seemed very nervous, and he picked a shitty song. A boring and forgettable performance. I do like his voice though. (65 points)

Bobby: Stupid song. This guy should be singing at weddings, not on my TV, and certainly not on my radio. (60 points)

Ace: Probably a finalist because the chicks like him. It helps that he sings very well. Second best of the night. (86 points)

Taylor: Great song. This guy is a great singer, even if he does seems a little cheesy at times. Best of the night, but just barely. (87 points)

The problem with making predictions for the guys is that it's all teenage girls doing the voting. I'd like to see David and Kevin go home, but because teenage girls are, well, teenage girls, I expect it to be somebody with more talent that leaves. Maybe Bobby and/or Gedeon.

If I live through this weekend, then I may truly be invincible.

I've been tagged to do this by stardancer2023.

1. I'm not really sure what I've been tagged to do. Write random crap, I guess. Just like always.


2. I'm going to count that last one, and this one too.


3. I told EwokGirl that some chick came by her desk to see her yesterday. I told her that she had brown hair and smiled a lot. This wasn't good enough for EwokGirl. Some people are just never satisfied. I mean, what does she want, the girl's name or something?


4. SassyGirl called me last night and told me that Rich O's had reduced the seating in the living room area by getting new, smaller, furniture. This strikes me as a wonderful idea. Not.


5. My surprisaphobia will peak this weekend, and then hopefully fade back to normal after that.


6. Is there a minimum number of these I'm supposed to do?


7. I'm going to count that one too, and this one. So ha ha.


8. This weekend is the start of Gravity Head at Rich O's, and I have to work. Just like I had to work in December when Saturnalia started.


9. I've got like eight hours of American Idol on my TiVo that I haven't watched yet.


10. I think that's it.