...if the Republican ticket wins in November, and we end up with millions of men spanking it whenever the new Vice-President is on TV?

I think that would be weird.

I also think Sarah Palin is hot.

VPILF?

Last night I wore a t-shirt that said I'm blogging this across the front. So, rather than be labeled a liar, I'll go ahead and actually write something.

Let's start with Wednesday, I suppose. There wasn't much to Wednesday. I went to Rich O's. At night. So that was something.

Let's see, I sat at the island and talked with some people. I don't remember who. Oh yeah, MusicalYuppieDude was one of them. I remember because he said there was a crazy guy over at the bar. I looked, but I didn't see him do anything crazy. Maybe he got his prescription refilled or something. Oh, and ExBartender was there too.

I had myself a yummy Schlenkerla Marzen (5047). I sent a million email messages. But mostly I watched the door, more out of habit than because of any actual anticipation.

The place was pretty dead, and they kicked everyone out early, so I came home.

Then yesterday I had a nice day, and it gave me enough confidence to go back to Rich O's last night. Wow, two nights in a row. One might almost think that I'm hanging out at Rich O's again. One would be wrong, but it would be an understandable mistake.

Last night, there was some big change... hope... zombie party going on in the special people section. I didn't go in there. In Rich O's proper, the fucking Thursday weirdoes were in full force. I sat at the island and had a little pizza and a Marzen (5064). Spent most of the time talking to PornAddict and SmooshDude.

And for some reason they kept playing techno music all night. That was messed up.

I was really bored, but I stayed for another Marzen (5081) because I wanted to see what LaptopGirl had done to her hair. I thought it looked really pretty, but of course I'm biased.

Then all the change... hope... zombies left the special people section and came into Rich O's proper looking for brains to eat, and I came home. I sat on my swing and had a Weihenstephaner Hefeweissbier (2636) and it was yummy.

Pretty damn exciting, I know. I've got a five-day weekend and I spend the first two nights sitting bored at Rich O's. Maybe tonight will be more interesting. I'm supposed to go hang out with BadPickleGirl for a while, and maybe go see CoolHairGirl's new purple hair.

Then tomorrow I get to have lunch with HatGirl. I'm obviously very excited about that.

Maybe I'll go out of town tomorrow after lunch. Or maybe not.

Damn, I had this vitriolic entry all typed up. The most honest thing I've written in weeks. Maybe months.

All I had to do was proofread it before I posted it.

But I accidentally deleted it instead of saving it in my draft folder. So now it's gone.

Probably for the best. Possibly. Maybe.

The title of this entry is some fucking spam I just got.

One of the things that always happens, is that my senses get so damn overloaded.

I spend all of my energy just trying to remain conscious. I focus so much on seeing that I forget to actually look. I focus so much on hearing that I forget to actually listen.

It's quite annoying, really.

There have been so many conversations that I've missed. Not because I wasn't there, but because I was so enthralled by the sound of a voice that the actual words became white noise. There's been so much beauty that I've failed to appreciate, not because I didn't see it, but because I was so mesmerized that everything became a blur.

It'll get easier, I keep telling myself.

But what do I know anyway. It could just as easily get worse.

I wish others could see what I see, hear what I hear.

Then maybe they could describe those things to me, once I get out of my daze.

Anyway, I'm pretty sure that lunch was nice today. I wish I could remember.

I was just thinking about the conversation I had with StupidGirl the other night. One of the things we talked about, and I really thought I'd already told her about this, was what happened between me and MixedSignalGirl.

Well, she said that I hadn't told her. So it must have been someone else. Some other girl in some other port, ArtGirl might guess.

Anyway, I told her what happened, not at the very end, but at the very beginning of the very end. When she'd asked demanded the impossible of me, and so instead of taking that ring out of my pocket, I'd stood up and walked away.

"Wow," StupidGirl said. "That must have been really hard."

"Well, it certainly wasn't any fun," I replied. "But it was one of the easiest things I've ever done."

"So you took the easy way out," StupidGirl commented.

Ouch. I'm pretty sure she was trying to be funny, but still, ouch.

Over the years that have passed since that night, people have almost uniformly told me that I did the wrong thing. That I should have done as MixedSignalGirl had demanded requested. That I'd been staring happiness in the face but that I'd been too blind to see.

Wrong.

I knew exactly what I was walking away from. Doing that was hard. What made it easy was knowing that I had no choice.

If I'd done what MixedSignalGirl had asked demanded, I'd have, via that very act, proved myself to be unworthy of her love.

I knew it, and that's why walking away was easy.

I'd walk away again. Even knowing what I now know, I'd walk away.

I forget where I was going with this entry.

Yesterday HatGirl asked me if I was going to some Cabbage Patch auction and, if so, did I want a date.

I told her that a Cabbage Patch auction was probably just about the gayest thing I'd ever heard of, and that even with a hot girl in tow, it would still be too gay. I figured that I'd probably need at least three hot girls with me to counter the gayness. I mean, what if somebody saw me there?

See, I was thinking about the dolls. I was thinking that they were going to auction off Cabbage Patch dolls.

That would be pretty gay, right?

Well I guess it's just a regular auction, and Cabbage Patch is the name of the organization holding the auction. They help kids or something.

I'm still not going.

Wow.

Where the fuck did that that wave come from?

Good thing I was already sitting down.

Just caught myself wondering about something. And, of course, wondering is a bad bad thing for me to be doing.

But still, I'm doing it. I'm wondering. I'm wondering if I'm doing the right thing.

Of course, because I'm wondering, I must also be doubting myself. There must be at least some small part of me that thinks I'm doing the wrong thing.

There must be some miniscule portion of me that thinks I'm an asshole.

So ArtGirl just basically accused me of having a girl in every port.

Hell, I don't even have any ports, so that shows how much she knows.

But seriously, what the fuck?