They need to invent a pill that I can take each November and drop into a coma. And then I wouldn't have to wake up until it was time to leave for Las Vegas.

Maybe I could get my sister to wheel my vegetative body into the airport and then they could give me an injection or something after the plane takes off.

I don't like November. I don't like what November does to me. I don't like what November reveals to me. About myself. About my friends.

So I could just take the pill around the 23rd or so, or whenever I feel myself start to crumble. Whichever comes first.

The place was pretty damn busy last night. I ordered myself a Rogue Chocolate Stout (1152) and stood at the end of the bar until a spot opened up on the sofa next to some strangers. I did try to talk to them a little, but my head just wasn't in it, so as soon as TallLady moved from the bar I moved up there and took her old seat.

I texted RockGirl that they seemed to be having a S.I.G.H. convention at Rich O's, but that I didn't really care. The members who I'd been hoping to see weren't there.

Then this dude who looks like my cousin Robbie came up and started yakking at me. Wanting me to go to this Mac's place that I don't like. I told him that I was doing perfectly fine where I was. "But there are girls at Mac's!" he protested. "Big fucking deal," I responded.

Then the throne opened up so I moved there.

I texted HatGirl to see if she was coming. She responded that she wasn't, so that sucked. But at least she did respond. That seems to be an impossible feat for some people these days.

Let's see, at about the time WomanRepellant came in, I ordered another Rogue (1172).

I sat and nursed my beer and talked with WomanRepellant and a couple who had been in Wednesday night. The whole time my mood got worse and worse.

So I left Rich O's at about 10:30, and went to try to find VigilanteGirl.

Yes, I was in that much of a mood.

But she wasn't at the place I went, so I just had myself a Newcastle (2738) and listened to some karaoke and then came home.

...yes, I'm fucking pissed.

Mostly about how I react to certain stimuli. Or the lack of certain stimuli.

But only mostly.

Fucking look them up yourself:

cour-te-sy
po-lite-ness
de-cen-cy

It would have taken ten fucking seconds out of your life to lift my mood.

Apparently, that was too much to hope for.

I'm out now. Don't even fucking bother.

Yesterday I was talking to BadPickleGirl about how I had to go shopping today for luggage and jeans.

Being a woman, BadPickleGirl has all of the shopping places in the area mapped out and locked in to her brain. I think that, for this purpose, women use the same area of the brain that I use to keep track of all the bars and poolhalls.

Anyway, she told me that I should go to this place called Tuesday Morning for my luggage.

So that's where I went.

Man, am I whipped or what?

They did indeed have luggage. Pretty nice stuff and very good prices. One-offs I think. I picked out a large suitcase and a matching smaller case for carry-on. Retail price was like $400, but I was only going to have to pay $75. Hell of a deal, I think.

I got to the checkout counter and I had to wait - I shit you not - 25 minutes for some old lady in front of me to fill out her check and find her driver's license. So that sucked.

The hag finally got out of my way so I put the two suitcases on the counter to be scanned.

The guy started opening up the small suitcase. I guess this is because I look like a thief or something.

Inside the small suitcase was a soft-sided carry-on bag!

I didn't put it there!

Really!

So I told the guy that I didn't want the soft-sided bag, that I hadn't put it there, and that maybe he should check the large suitcase to see what might be stashed hidden in there.

"Gee, ya think?" the guy's eyes said to me.

Inside the large suitcase was, of course, a smaller suitcase.

I didn't put that there either!

I swear!

The guy took it pretty well I suppose. I don't think it was the first time it had happened. They stuff shit inside other shit to save shelf space. The guy did, however, seem a little surprised and maybe even a little disappointed that I hadn't decided to buy the extra items. Maybe some people would have done so out of embarrassment or something.

So that was fun. And now I've got decent luggage for my Las Vegas trip.

BadPickleGirl had also told me to go to some place that sells dead peoples' clothes. She'd said that I could get cheap jeans there.

I passed on that, and went to the mall like a regular person.

Every place was closed tonight. At least every place I felt like going to was closed. So I just came home and opened a bottle of Bluegrass Mephistopheles Metamorphosis. This bottle is completely flat too.

---

I think every risk should have an associated reward. You have to weigh them against each other. If the risk is too great, or if the reward is too small, then you pass on the whole thing. This is just common sense. And then there are times when there's no real risk, and there's no detectable reward. Then it just becomes a fucking waste of time.

---

Happy Birthday to LaptopGirl. There, I fucking said it. Fuck off if you don't like it.

---

I have some relatives who seem to be pissed at me for some unknown and probably stupid reason. I feel like I should give a shit, but I don't.

---

I think that the perfect scenario would be for me to somehow win a gazillion dollars in Las Vegas and then never come back here except to retrieve my pool cue and my cats.

---

I didn't ask for this bullshit. I don't think I deserve it either.

---

Maybe I should get me one of those voice recorder dealies. I have these stupid random thoughts all day long. I could record them and post them in my blog to show the world how boring I am.

For anyone trying to figure out what I want for Christmas, that was a hint.

---

There was one path to forgiveness but she didn't take it. Her loss. I really shouldn't care, but I'm not getting any younger I suppose, so I do care.

---

I'd decided that I would politely decline the invitation. Now, now I've decided otherwise. Bring it on. I'm looking forward to it.

---

Seriously, what the fuck is going on? Am I being set up? Am I being placed into the batting order? Am I being benched? I think I've done everything I can do to get put into the game. Yes or no, please. No more fucking maybe.

---

Tonight I might get to see HatGirl and NotHideousGirl. Either would be cool. Both would be fucking awesome. So I probably won't see either one them.

---

I keep writing about the same subject and then deleting it. It's over, and every time I write about it, it gets more stupid and pointless.

---

This beer is fucking with my head.

---

There was a girl at Rich O's last night that looked like puppyshark. She was hot.

---

I miss SassyGirl.

---

I am so excited for my friend RockGirl. This thing she's going through is similar to what I went through at this time last year. It was the beginning of the end of the pain. I'm so excited for her.

---

I need to make it to Memphis one of these weekends to see harpo play a gig.

I wish I had musical talent.

---

I wish I had more turkey to eat right now. All I've got is some Nacho Cheese Doritos. Not quite the same thing.

I think I've figured something out. I think I know who started this. Whatever this is.

---

My turkey nap lasted a lot longer than I'd intended. I'm still going out though, as soon as my shirt dewrinkles. I don't know where I'm going. I don't even know if there are any places open.

---

So there are three people who pretty much know everything. Two of those people give me completely wrong advice. What's funny is that each gives different advice. But they're both quite wrong. The answer doesn't lie in either of those directions, because there is no answer.

The third person understands that.

---

I got to talk to BadPickleGirl this morning. It was, once again, a very pleasant surprise. Bordering on astonishment actually. There, she's said that she wanted more mention here.

---

Tomorrow I get to go shopping. Not because of the whole post-Thanksgiving shopping mania. Just because I need some shit. Like a new suitcase, and maybe some jeans. Most of my old jeans are mysteriously shrinking. So I need to buy some new shit before I leave Sunday morning.

---

Vegas, baby! Woo hoo!

---

One of my friends doesn't seem to be my friend anymore. That's a shame to me. Would have been nice to at least have had a chance to say goodbye.

---

They were going to fry a turkey today, but the fryer started spewing hot oil out through some holes, and we were afraid that we'd ended up burning the house down. Luckily, my sister had a spare Turkey roasting in the oven.

---

I'm outta here.

The night before Thanksgiving is typically one of the busier nights of the year at the bar. Last night was no exception.

After a quick meal at the haunted Burger King, I got to Rich O's at a little after 8:00.

THE PLACE WAS FUCKING LOUD. AT FIRST I DIDN'T THINK THERE WAS ANY PLACE TO SIT, BUT TALLLADY MOVED HER SHIT AND SO I WAS ABLE TO SIT AT THE BAR. IT WAS REALLY FUCKING LOUD IN THERE. I TRIED TO ASK THEM TO TURN THE FUCKING MUSIC DOWN, BUT THERE WAS NO WAY ANYONE COULD HEAR MY WORDS OVER THAT CRAP THEY WERE BLASTING THROUGH THE SPEAKERS.

I'm not going to shout this entire entry, but I could.

In my rush to dramatize the loudness, I forgot to mention the beer.

Rogue Chocolate Stout!

Yay!

I went outside to call HatGirl, to tell her about the Rogue being on. Got her voicemail. Then I came back in and managed to use pantomime to let the bartender know that I would like a glass of Rogue Chocolate Stout, please. And turn down the fucking music, please.

I spent some time shouting back and forth with one of the PBDs. We weren't in an argument, it's just that we were all of two feet away from each other, so shouting was the only way we could be heard.

Did I mention that it was fucking loud?

Well, it was.

After a while, some dude left the throne so I picked up my shit and moved there. Then I went back outside to call HatGirl again to let her know about the Rogue being on tap. This time I got to talk to her. Maybe Friday she said.

I spent the remainder of the night there on the throne. I occasionally talked to some people sitting around me. I talked briefly to a couple of hot girls who I hadn't seen since June. I think I impressed them by remembering their names. I know they impressed me by remembering mine. But mostly I just sat back and enjoyed my Rogue Chocolate Stouts. I had three of them (1132).

Let's see, I did, at one point, see a blur that might have been MisunderstoodGirl, but if it was her she couldn't hear me over the damn music and so she didn't stop.

Then towards the end of the night WomanRepellant came in so I talked to him until they started kicking everyone out. Then I came home.

My sister Dina (Happy Birthday!) used to do this bullshit on Thanksgiving. It's been a couple of years though. Maybe she's stopped. Maybe she's given up.

I fucking hope so.

What she'd do is, she'd point a fucking camcorder at me and make me say what I'm thankful for.

Yeah, I know. Barf-o-rama.

The problem with this, besides how incredibly gay it was, was that no matter how many things or people I listed, I'd always leave someone or something out. That was my main problem with the whole thing - there was no way that, under such pressure, I'd ever be able to list everything and everyone that I was thankful for. I'd leave somebody or something out, and somebody would get upset.

Well, here it is, November 22nd. 2006. Thanksgiving Eve. I haven't written anything in days. I've been drinking.

I'm going to list the people that I'm thankful for.

But I'll just list the first three people.

There are more, to be sure, but these three are most obvious. The most deserving of my thanks.

These are in no particular order.

1. RockGirl. I don't even know where to start. I am more thankful for RockGirl than I am for the Sun continuing to rise and set. And that's not even close to how thankful I really am. I've said before that I wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for RockGirl. People may think that's an exaggeration, but they're wrong. She healed me when everyone else would have given up and started covering me with dirt.

2. HatGirl. She takes my friendship without reservation. She ignores me when I'm too bold, and she accepts me unconditionally at all other times. She is adorable, and she is adored. There are simply no words that could adequately describe her. I'm a rambling fool most of the time, but when it comes to HatGirl I'm at a loss for words, and I've been at a loss for words for over a year.

3. MixedSignalGirl. She taught me how to be a person, though I had no desire to learn. She taught me how to love, though I thought I already knew. She taught me how to see the world through the eyes of another person, though I saw no need for that ability. She tore off my blinders, and forced me to look at the world I lived in.

These are the first three people that pop into my head when I wonder who I'm thankful for.

This is, to be perfectly honest, no great feat. Because these people are in my head most of the time anyway.

Didn't do a whole lot today. Worked for a few hours on a server that a coworker put into a coma yesterday. It's still nonresponsive.

I also went to the store and bought a turkey. Then I cooked it. This is something I usually do on the Sunday before Thanksgiving.

I figure there are two main goals to strive for when preparing and eating turkey:

1: Do not burn the house down.

2: Do not die from food poisoning.

So far so good. My house still stands. The food poisoning thing, well I guess I'll know by this time tomorrow.

I also got to talk to BadPickleGirl for an hour or so tonight. That was a very pleasant surprise. I have no idea why she calls my home number though. That ringer has been turned off for years. It was only because I happened to see the phone light up that I even knew that I had an incoming call.

BadPickleGirl is nice. I'll miss her when I'm in Las Vegas next week. I hope that doesn't freak her out.

Also, tonight I had myself an Avery The Beast (24). It was yummy.

Tomorrow I start another on-call rotation. That will suck I'm sure. This year I'm on-call for Thanksgiving, and Christmas, and New Years Eve. I was actually on-call for July Fourth too, but I got a coworker to trade with me for that day because I was in Cleveland.

Anyway, it was nice to end my Sunday on a good note.